My Favorite (Inappropriate) Mantra

My Favorite (Inappropriate) Mantra

My Favorite (Inappropriate) Mantra

I went to boarding school.  I have a bachelors’, a masters’ and a doctoral degree.  I am well educated.  At times, I can even be articulate.   That said, however, I find that some thoughts are best expressed bluntly.

Over the years, I have found myself repeating the same ‘mantra’ to myself during times of stress.  I say it at least once per day, usually in my car or under my breath.  It calms my nerves every single time that I say it.  And yet, I never share this little gem with other people.  Why?  Because I worry that it will make me look uncouth, angry or unsophisticated.  But, even as I write this piece, I’m saying it over and over in my head.

My favorite mantra is: ‘fuck everyone.’

OK, so now you’re thinking:

  • Wow, Lauren is still angry from that divorce 4 years ago (not the case… this mantra preceded my divorce)
  • Lauren must be from Jersey (you are right on that one)
  • Lauren cannot possibly be a clinical psychologist (and yet I am)

Let me explain why I love this mantra.  Left to my own devices, I tend to worry about what other people think of me.  Even as I am writing this very piece, I am thinking ‘oh boy, my mom is not going to like this blog, I am going to alienate everyone that does yoga, and my colleagues are going to think that I’m insane.’  If I validate these anxieties, I become paralyzed, or worse, I sanitize myself.

When I utter ‘fuck everyone’ to myself it reminds me that:

  • I need to focus on making myself happy
  • Not everyone likes me and I don’t like everyone
  • I need to be myself and trust my instincts
  • When I’ve censored myself in the past, it made me depressed

I’m not arguing that this mantra is for everyone.  I’m only sharing it because it works for me.  Personally, I think you should come up with your own highly inappropriate mantra.



Lauren Napolitano, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist