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So, I was reading a thread on a forum and people were putting up their
favourite recipes. As my favourite recipe is currently the phone number
to the take-away up the road I decided I need to explain about my
skills as a Chef.
Now, with that as my theme, I could easily stop typing and click post.
I have no skills as a Chef. I'm culinarily impaired you could say. I
could eat the same meal everyday and not bat an eye. I could drink the
same drink every day and never care. For some reason food doesn't
inspire or motivate or move me. (perhaps my lack of skill contributes to this)
This would be okay to live like this if it were just me. I have the Mr.
and Little Poppet who live here with me so I should probably feed them.
One thing they have in common is they 'act up' when they are hungry.
Little Poppet throws all of her toys everywhere and the Mr. throws his
comments around until feeding time. I, on the other hand, just don't
seem to be terribly bothered.
I have told people on many occasions that my husband is the cook in the
family. I can keep us from starvation but when you taste what I've made
you may not agree that this is the best thing. So, I thought I'd share
a recent example of my adventures in cookery and see what things you
can suggest to help me become the budding chef and wife and mum that I
should be.
The other night I decided a bolognese would be acceptable for a meal.
At least it sounded better than the bowl of meat (mince) with seasoning
I prepared for the Mr. awhile back. Meat and a potato. Still don't know
what all the complaining about that was about. It was too late to
bundle up Little Poppet to go to the shops (if I haven't mentioned that
it is bloomin' cold here in London IT IS!) as it was already dark (this
happens at approximately midday this time of year *sigh*) and that
means that no matter how warmly you are dressed or how many layers you
are wearing, the skin on your face will freeze solid and your feet
won't work because don't you have to feel them to make them move (I
think you have to be able to bend your toes as well)?
So, I looked in the cupboards to find spaghetti pasta! Save! Brilliant.
Oh, okay, a sauce would be nice I suppose. At least the Mr. will want
something besides pasta-I'm guessing of course. So, another perusal of
the cupboards and I found a tin of tomatoes. Great! It was already a
meal to my mind! (I know from experience that setting the pasta on a
plate with the tin next to the plate is not acceptable to the Mr. I
guess he's a bit fussy).
I put the pan on the hob and boiled the kettle. Once I added the
boiling water to the pan I turned the hob to high and put in the
spaghetti pasta. Left those to start the sauce. Oh. Hmmm. I wonder if
we have any mince. I didn't have to wonder long. We didn't. So, I
looked in the freezer and the refrigerator for anything meat like in
substance. Wow, I need to go shopping! Why didn't I just order online
from Sainsbury's and have them fill all the cupboards and refrigerator?
They should probably have contacted me by now!
Okay, not to worry, there were two slices of ham lunch meat. Mmmm, ham and tomato sauce on spaghetti. I can already hear Jamie Oliver ordering a supply for his restaurant! Michelin is probably going to be awarding me my first star any time!
Or not.
I chopped the ham slices into bite size pieces and put them in a pan
(btw, I know some people have flashy names for their pots and pans
(such as 'saucepan' or 'skillet') but mine are simply known as 'that
pan' and 'this pan'. I'm considering calling them names like Henry or
Harold but as yet no, just pan) to heat up - since they were already
cooked being sandwich meat and all. After roughly 3 seconds they were
already burnt toasted so I proceeded to find the tin opener. Already I decided that this should have been done before heating the smokedham. I honestly do not know how something that essential can be
misplaced! In a kitchen! Of