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Sparkle (0)
You know it has been 6 years since my divorce from my gay ex-husband after 15 years of marriage, and today I still struggle with the whats, hows and whys. Not like I use to. I use to say, "he ruined my life", "I'll never be able to look at relationships the same again", "what did I do wrong". How selfish of me. Today he has been in a secure relationship with the same partner for 4 years. He is very happy and so am I. I just re-married in February and found out we are pregnant. Our first! We are so excited. I recently received a phone call from my ex, we are still very good friends. He wanted to know how I was doing. It was the first phone call from him in 6 years to ask how I was doing and not needing a favor. I have struggled with my feelings of being selfish and respecting his decision and allowing him to be happy. But for the first time since our separation I felt that it is my time to actually be ok with being selfish and will accept all of this. Don't get me wrong, it's still very hard. I swear I want to move forward with my new life, but why can't I let go?
