My Internal Dialogue Has Run Amok

Call it a deviant pathology or a mental illness if you want.  I call it Melancholy M om has a voice.  It may be in writing in a somewhat anonymous blog, that's okay.  I can live with being heard only by a random view count.  

I wake up many mornings with thoughts of what to do today, worries about kids, analysis of work, plans for improving a marriage.  I really like being a thorough thinker.  But when it gives me a headache and anxiety pains, then I need to stop it.  Recently, I learned to meditate. I am not that goood but I can push aside a little worry and relax enough to sleep through the night without any pains.  Just getting it down in writing helps put my random thoughts into reality.  What is a thought?  It is all in your head.  No one can read it.  People might say they see it in your face or can feel your emotions.  I have learned through my cultural upbringing, it does not benefit me to hide.  I have a good personality, I need to live more fully and mindfully to appreciate all I have and all I hold dear to my heart.

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