My Internal Dialogue Has Run Amok
Call it a deviant pathology or a mental illness if you want. I call it Melancholy M om has a voice. It may be in writing in a somewhat anonymous blog, that's okay. I can live with being heard only by a random view count.
I wake up many mornings with thoughts of what to do today, worries about kids, analysis of work, plans for improving a marriage. I really like being a thorough thinker. But when it gives me a headache and anxiety pains, then I need to stop it. Recently, I learned to meditate. I am not that goood but I can push aside a little worry and relax enough to sleep through the night without any pains. Just getting it down in writing helps put my random thoughts into reality. What is a thought? It is all in your head. No one can read it. People might say they see it in your face or can feel your emotions. I have learned through my cultural upbringing, it does not benefit me to hide. I have a good personality, I need to live more fully and mindfully to appreciate all I have and all I hold dear to my heart.