My Journey with Faith

Fairly recently, I came into quite a bit of God-talk. But not really the religious God-talk. It's spiritual. It's full. It's open. It's inviting. It's forgiving. It's graceful. It's loving. It's kind. It's all the things that I don't find or hear from the religious God-talk.

There's a difference. And it's profound. And it's sending me to a place of peace and serenity. A place that hasn't been so easy (or even find) much in the last couple of years. I also am beginning to feel a strong urge to be surrounded by others who practice this God-talk. The talk of spirituality and peace, love and comfort, triumph and accomplishment, simply by moving through life. I can't quite put my finger on it yet. I'm not sure where to go, especially as I have a great aversion to the institution of religion and church-going. Maybe I need to seek a church place, though I'm sure that's not it. Actually, just the thought of doing so, of opening up in that way, closes me off again. I certainly do not want to "weed through" the religious-ness of church-goers. Frankly, I can't stand it and it leaves me feeling much less connected to others, to the world, and to my understanding and acceptance of my Higher Power, or God, if you will.

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I feel that there's a message in all this for me. I feel that I'm being sent the message of letting go, of trusting, of walking in faith. These are things I'm doing. Right now though, it seems I'm being told to do it more. To walk in faith more. To let go of the future. To trust that I am going to be alright, that my family is going to be alright. We will be provided for. We will get to another place, a higher place. A place of greater comfort and space. A place with more freedom, more opportunity, and more joy.

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We have joy in our lives. Our little family is full of joy and love, freedom, choice, togetherness, acceptance. Our little family's opportunities and space is tight though. We're getting by. We're sticking with choices that are right for us. We're forgoing many of the things that are out there. Yet, we're doing alright. I'm not always sure how we're getting by, yet we are. I'm not always sure what we can handle, yet we seem to handle everything.

I think I'm opening up more. I'm opening up to possibility. I'm opening to an unknown future. Not scary unknown, simply unknown. I feel positivity though. I feel power and peace. Something's in store for us, I feel. I feel something is in store for my little family. Whatever it is, however it manifests, it'll come easily. It, whatever it is, will come freely and easily to us. We're being graced/blessed with something more than our now. More than our present. More than I could have known or imagined ever before.

My life is like this now. Already I have more than I could ever have imagined or wished for. The deep love and commitment Hun and I have for one another, is more. It's so much more than even words can describe. Baby Boy. Well, he's more just by mere mention. So incredibly much more than I ever knew possible in my life.

And yet it seems there is more forthcoming. Something on the horizon, just out of reach right now, there nonetheless. As a family, we're reaching, we're leaving, we're discovering, and we're living. Just as we know how, we're living. So whatever's out there for us, one day we'll experience it and it'll be more and right and good. And then one day, I'll probably be in this place again. The place of knowing there's ever more and again I'll be ready when it comes, again I'll be open to the possibility, and the adventure.

How do you experience spirituality in your life and family? Do you ever notice that the tides are turning, ever so slowly and there's something more, but you just don't know what or where it is? How do you open up and prepare for something more in your life?

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