My Journey to Motherhood

My journey to motherhood was a little “normal” and a little “abnormal”. It was normal in that I was able to conceive and carry my own babies without help. It was abnormal because of my and my husband’s circumstances.

 

I am visually impaired and my husband is a Type 1 Diabetic on Dialysis. Both my visual impairment and his End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) are legal disabilities.

 

My husband was Diabetic when we met, went into kidney failure and had a kidney/pancreas transplant, all before we got married. His transplanted organs lasted for about six years. In that time, we got married and had our first child, our daughter, Camryn.

 

With my first pregnancy, tt took me only two months to conceive and all went well, except I did have Gestational Diabetes. But I was able to control it very well by watching my diet. Our daughter was born exactly one week late weighing 7 lbs. 12 oz. She was a perfectly healthy baby.

 

When Camryn was 18 months old, my husband’s transplant failed. He returned to being both insulin dependent and on dialysis. Now that we had a child, my attentions had to be split between him and her. This was a really difficult thing to adjust to.

 

I had always wanted at least two children, but also wanted about three years between them. After my husband’s transplant failed, I became very afraid and worried about the future. It took me a long time to get past that enough to let myself hope for another child.

 

My daughter was 4 years old before I felt secure enough to try for another baby. I have no way of knowing if my husband’s health had any bearing on trying to conceive, but the second time around took 6 months. I had just turned 31 and I was so very happy to be pregnant again!

 

My second pregnancy was a little more difficult than my first, but still OK. I had Gestational Diabetes again, got a cold and a UTI in my 3rd trimester and tested positive for Group B Strep. Because of the GD, Group B and my first labor and delivery going a little fast, my OB agreed to induce me 2 days after my due date. She agreed for two reasons: 1) with GD babies can get too big, and 2) Group B+ requires two doses of antibiotics four hours apart during labor.

 

The moment my son was placed into my arms I knew my family was complete. I felt overwhelming love and contentment.

 

Today my children are 11 ½ and 6 years old. The baby years are behind me, and although I am content with my two, there’s still just a little bit of sadness at never being pregnant, breastfeeding or snuggling a sweet little bundle again. I love being a mom and feel so blessed that in spite of our circumstances my husband and I were able to have two beautiful, healthy children.

 

My daughter is my dream come true. My son is my hope for the future.