My Kid Will Never...
By waiting to launch on April 25, 2014
Parents beware of this phrase. Or the similar one “I would never let my kid…”. I had my kids young. Which translates into everyone else in my circle, family included, has younger kids than me. Way younger. So, watching my parenting and my kids has become a hobby almost. Along with this hidden watching comes judgment. All over the place.
Case in point. Her father and I have waded into the dating minefield of a 15 year old daughter. We have tried to carefully navigate these muddy waters. Not wanting to alienate or push her away, we have carefully balanced the overseeing of these “relationships”. Thankfully there have only been two short lived ones, but they still came with heartache. They have also provided her with life lessons on who she is, who she wants to be and how she wants to be treated. A family member recently interjected during an anniversary dinner (with lots of relatives, grandparents, siblings present) that he would never allow his daughter to date anyway and we were just looking for trouble. His daughter would never...
His daughter is 7.
When my daughter was 7 she wasn’t going to be allowed to date until she was 16. Or 25. At least. And then she grew up. Middle school happened, then high school. And parameters changed as my daughter changed. As I changed.
My kid will never date. My kid will never swear. My kid will never sneak out of a friend’s house. My kid will never lie to me. My kid will never have a cell phone before they are 16. My kid will never drink.
My kid will never...
Parenting is different. With each house. With each mom and dad. With each kid. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Saying my kid will never is akin to praying to God for patience. Look out!
My rules change. My moods change. My daughter changes. We meet each day head on and make the best decisions we can in that moment. Yes, I do have hard rules. Ones that will not bend no matter what. But I also have flexible ones. That are situational. That are dependent on maturity and attitude. There are hills I will die on and others that are not so important in the grand scheme of things.
Today was a new day. My daughter respects me, fears me and loves me. Unconditionally. We are walking this journey together. I wouldn’t have it any other way.