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I keep checking the calendar. Is it really 2008? So much of my life right now is a loop of decisions and difficulties I've faced before. I get that the universe is sending me a message but I really wish such lessons came with a decoder ring.
I'm the kind of gal who often needs to be hit over the head with a 2x4 to see the important meaning of life in the trials and tribulations we all deal with. I also resist just chalking it up the the vagaries of life. I am determined to sort it all out, to make it all make sense somehow. Perhaps if I blogged more regularly I could get some insight from outside observers. I find outside observers are often able to see the trees more clearly from the forest.
My dog Gracie has heart disease and it is progressing in ways very similar as it did in my dog Zoe who died last year. I am once again up at all hours of the night and consumed with worry, sadness and anger at the fact that my dogs aren't living as long as some other dogs their size. On the other hand I am acutely aware and reminded that loves in your life are more important that anything else.
The realities of life, however, don't fall away. I still have to bring home the ground turkey for that little dog. I run my own business and as such work life runs in cycles. I am once again at a tipping point where things have ramped up enough that I need to consider hiring others to help me grow the business. Unless, of course, I'm tempted by a juicy job offer, possibly too perfect to say no to - a conundrum I've face previously.
I was told once that I should always look up as if I were climbing a ladder towards my golden future and that turning to look back down would only turn my world dark and gloomy. But how to keep climbing and not looking back when my life pulls me tightly towards memories of the past by having me re-live some moments?
Am I to keep repeating until I do things differently and "righter" somehow? I don't know. I do know that I have to once again get into the habit of cutting up pills, putting meds in the dog's food and tune into waking every few hours through the night to help a dog whose haywire body is no longer sending her the right signals. I have to plow ahead and do the work in front of me and around me based on the now. The past versions might inform my decisions but life 2.0 is its own release not just a rehashed, recycled, rewarmed version of Life 1.0.
What are your strategies for dealing with life issues you thought you'd already worked out? Do you do the same or run in the opposite direction? Please share any strategies in the comments - I'd love to get an outside perspective and learn something.
Here are some life posts from bloggers who have stories to share and lessons to teach...
Lynnster is new to the BlogHer blogrolls and I so feel her when she shares News from the Nursing Home:
Living with an elderly cat in decline has certainly become a challenge lately. Of course, there’s also the fact that I have two more elderly cats who are doing okay for now, but Schuyler, my black cat, is presenting all kinds of new challenges lately.
Kyla Bea, another BlogHer newcomer I can relate to, extols the kindness of internet strangers and describes the problem with puppies (you can never have just one).
BlogHer member, rebellious thinker, makes me think when she argues that we should Sweat the Small Stuff:
It took me time to realize that if I don’t sweat the small stuff, I will never get to the big stuff. If there are any writers out there I can illustrate this easily: the dishes or laundry must be done before any writing can get done. For those who don’t work from home, than this can be illustrated as follows: you will not get any real work done until have straighten up your desk, added more paper clips to your paper clip container, made coffee or organized a coffee run. Okay, maybe this
