This is my very first time writing a blog, so I really don't know what to expect from it. so here goes - I am a 31 year old mom of three boys, I have a wonderful husband and we also have 2 dogs. My life is crazy! But in the same breath I can say it is boring! I stay at home with the boys (who are 7, 4, & 19 months) which for the most part is exciting and fulfilling. But there are those times when I want to scream and run away!

I have also been diagnosed with ADHD and am going through a fight with depression. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 18 or 19 years old, I can'treally remember the exact age, but I was older when I was diagnosed. My family doctor at the time (which was a family physician, no specialist) prescribed 10mg of ritalin and being that age didn't know it was not enough. So instead of going to a "head" doctor at that time, I just gave up on it and stopped taking it. I mean, I wasn't in school and didn't have a"thinking" job. Since then I have grown up, life has happened, and I finally decided to go to a psycholigist or a psychiitrist (whichever one prescribes medicine, not the one that talks to you) I started that in January of this year and have finally found the magic number and drug for myself. The Dr.started me at 10mg of Adderall and 150 mg welbutrin (depression I'll talk about soon). Since the first visit, I have moved up to 50 mg of Adderall and finally feel like something in my head is clearer and I am not frantic all the time about getting things done and actually not getting anything done. 

Onto the depression - I am pretty sure that when I had my second child, Chase (and yes I have been chasing him since the day he learned how to run - yes run, not walk) anyway, when he was born, it was different. The first child (Doug) was born when my husband and I lived with my mother and that was easy as pie. It wasn't just me, I had my mom and my husband to help with the late nights and the dirty diapers. When I had Chase (day before Hurricane Isabelle), it was craziness from the beginning - no power for 2 weeks, new baby, husband came and went alot due to his job. So this child was all me, plus I had a 2 year old also. I went from happy all the time and energetic all the time, to lacking interest in things and upset all the time. But I didn't get it, and my husband was gone alot, so no one really saw it happening to me. Skip a few years and I got pregnant again, and yes it was boy number three. Cooper came along (Christmas baby) and I finally got that something was wrong when he was about 1. I just realized one day, while sitting on the couch gazing at the TV, that my boys were getting nothing from me and I felt like I was always telling them to go play. I finally noticed that I was just saying that way too much. That's when I called and went to see the Dr., and of course had to finally admit out loud what was going on with me. I was not showering daily, didn't care about my looks, letting the baby cry (not hysterically) and not getting him out of bed in the morning. I was getting by. I hope that makes since. They had breakfast, lunch and dinner, they went to school clean and teeth brushed. When other people were around, I was chipper and fun, like nothing was wrong - but back at home by myself, it was ughhhh and whatever.

Well 6 months later, I have changed a bit. I don't sit around late at night eating for no reason. I am trying to be more active with the boys, but am still fighting the ughhhh a bit. I go through spells of energy vs. no energy. I seem to be more active in the afternoon and evening, not so much in the morning. But it has only been 6 months of talking and medicines, so I am getting better!!

Now something more chipper. I have a great husband, we have known each other for 10 years now - wow!!!!! And on the 21st it will be 8 years since we got married. My three sons keep me busy, but with it being summer, we are sort of bored. Thank goodness we bought a pool in the spring. It cures the boredom everyday, well except for rainy days. And then there's the gas prices and the power prices and the VA gas prices going up 34%, and finally the food prices....how are people really suppose to make it trough this? Lord I hope our paychecks catch up with the rise in every other thing!!!!

I guess I will go to bed now, and am pretty sure I will be writing in here again. It is like a journal that makes me feel better when I am done.