My Little Light

"This little light of mine"


Grieving a child is not unlike mothering one.  It is an all consuming, never ending process.  However, rather than get to watch our child grow and make memories, we now must do that for them.


"I'm gonna let it shine"


The reality of their memory fading away is real and terrifying. The fact that they did live, that they did exist, that they mattered, is now your burden to carry forward.  It is a fight and for me almost an obsession.


"This little light of mine"


You find ways to honor them, to make the memory go forward, anyway you can.  You will touch the lives that they never got a chance to do, you say their name so it doesn't become a whisper on the sands of time. You write their story anywhere you can, because by writing it, it becomes real, they become real again.  You do acts of kindness in their name. Make donations.  Share their pictures. Release lanterns. Make crafts.  Anything ANYTHING to honor them, anything so their name doesn't die.  Because that is all you have left - their name.


"I'm gonna let it shine"


You have no baby to hold and watch grow. The pictures will forever stay the same.  So you carry the name forward, it becomes a part of you.  You live to see their name, hear people speak it, not only because you want the memory to live on, but because you want some validation that this horrible thing that happened wasn't just a dream nightmare you can't wake up from.


"Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine"


So you march forward. Carrying that baby in your heart.  The name on your lips, the memory never out of your thoughts, and carry their candle forward.  With the hope, the dream, and the NEED that it's light will never burn out.


Xavier's Candle



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