My Marriage for a Cell Phone!
Life is complicated. Thank goodness there are experts to help us untangle some of the vexing issues that, well, vex us on a daily basis. The Mouthy Housewives are here to help, three times a week. Today, the Housewives answer an exclusive BlogHerMoms question!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My 8 year old son recently asked me if I would divorce his father so he can have a cell phone. (All of his friends at school with divorced parents have cell phones.) I told him, "Of course not!" and had a long talk with him about it, but he's still upset that he's not getting one and asks me every day. WTF? Any ideas?
Signed, Cell Dilemma
Dear Cell Dilemma,
I can't help but marvel at your son's perceptiveness. I imagine that type of observation must have taken some serious scientific inquiry, maybe even spreadsheets and cross-referencing! I mean, there's the issue of his lack of empathy and blatant disregard for human relationships, but that comes with time, right? He's only eight!
I suppose you have a few options. First, you could just go ahead and get the damn divorce. Then he'd be miserable and dejected and you could say I TOLD YOU SO, SUCKAH! However, this is risky, because most 8-year-olds would prefer an electronic gadget to a stable home life any day of the week.
Another option could be to buy him one of those retro cell phones that you have to carry around in a suitcase. That'll teach you to ask for things, you little whippersnapper! But those are probably antiques at this point and therefore quite expensive.
So maybe the best idea is just to stick to your guns. Each parent has his or her own valid reason for either deciding to equip their child with a cell phone or to hold off on that particular device for a few more years. If you've already decided that 8 is too young (which, I would tend to agree with) and talked with him thoroughly about your decision, then going back on your on your word would be disastrous in the long run. Focus his attention elsewhere and refuse to entertain any more discussion on the matter. Eventually, he'll get the message and start asking for a pony instead.