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I just read that the next Back Talk topic is going to be the Mom Body. As a woman who has just given birth to my last child a little more than 3 weeks ago, this is something that I am currently dealing with on more of a full scale basis than I normally would.
Growing up, I was the tall, skinny girl. People called me Daddy Long Legs... In 6th grade, my nickname was "High Water" because I couldn't find any pants with long enough legs. I heard all the horrible names - Bean Pole I think was the one I heard the most of them all.
I never had to worry about my weight. My biggest problems as far as body image was concerned were my chicken legs and flat chest. Don't get me wrong - just because I never worried about being the "fat girl" or putting on any weight doesn't mean that I didn't have my own self esteem issues.
But I eventually got over that. Once I got a little older and put on a little bit more weight I got used to my body and came to enjoy it. I found myself a man who didn't cut me down because I didn't have a chest or because my legs were so skinny - he actually really liked my body too! I finally got to a point that I liked myself as a whole, not just my personality but my body as well.
When I was 20 I got pregnant with our first daughter Gracie. At the time of conception I was actually quite underweight - 10-15 lbs underweight. But throughout that pregnancy I gained 80 lbs. I went from being 114 to 194 over the course of 39 weeks. It was the first time in my life that I had weighed more than 130. At the time I was fine with it. I knew that I had never had problems with my weight and concidering my metabolism, I figured the weight would shed right off. And I was right.
My first pregnancy actually left my body in better shape than it had ever been in. My chest was a little bigger, and the way that my hips spread left me a little more curvy. Once I had lost the weight I wanted to lose, I looked great.
Last year in August I quit smoking. Along with that came 20 lbs. I was fine with the weight I had gained though, as it all went to the areas I wanted it to: my chest and my rear - both of which were pretty non-existant before. Just as I was settling into my new body I found out I was pregnant again. I ended up at almost the same weight this pregnancy - 189 lbs this time around. But I carried it differently. I didn't look quite as big.
A little over 3 weeks ago, I gave birth at the age of 25 to another beautiful baby girl. Things are a little different this time around though. I'm older now and my metabolism has slowed down. I worry that the weight won't come off as easily this time around as it has before. When I get out of the shower I notice the jiggle that happens in my belly when I take a step. My stomach feels a lot like a blob of paritally risen dough.
This is not a feeling I'm used to. I know my husband still thinks I'm sexy, but I often worry that he doesn't see me the same way he used to. I'm hoping that breastfeeding will help me lose some of the weight because I just don't have the energy (or the time!) to work out.
I still like my body, but it's taking some getting used to. I don't know that I will ever get my old body back, but at least I know that I came by the one I've got now honestly - and the rewards I'm reaping in lieu of that old body are so much greater.
