My Next Job Application: President of the United States!

It's time to spill the beans. Despite Cool Mum's shrewdly veiled blog post for my birthday, the word going around discussion forums and nursing homes everywhere is that Cool Dad is now 35 years old.

Okay, it's true: I'm 35, but who was it that said that Life begins at 35! and 35 is the coolest age yet, and you're not an irrelevant fogey who needs to start Yelping the best Early Bird Specials in the neighborhood? (I think it was me, on my birthday.)

For work, I'm happy with the flexibility of freelancing, but I always have my eye on cool part-time jobs to shoot for. I might think about a full-time job again if it were amazing enough.

Well, I recently realized that there's a position opening up that I'm qualified for: President of the United States! And now that I'm 35, I'm eligible to apply! According to Wikipedia, here are the requirements to be POTUS:

  1. Be a natural born citizen of the United States. Despite my dad's old teasing that I was born in Jamaica (probably during my rasta phase from 1 to 1.5 years), my birth certificate confirms my Connecticut birth.
  2. Be at least thirty-five years old; Yup.
  3. Have been a permanent resident in the United States for at least fourteen years. Been here, done that.

The wiki also states an applicant that meets the above requirements still may be disqualified if:

  1. They've already been elected president twice. Nope.
  2. "Upon conviction in impeachment cases, the Senate has the option of disqualifying convicted individuals from holding other federal offices, including the presidency." I think this means that if I were impeached from another federal office, I might be declared ineligible to be POTUS. Regardless, I don't think I have to worry about it. I haven't held an office since college. I've barely worked in one, either; my workspaces have all been glorified storage closets.
  3. If you swore an oath to support the Constitution and later rebelled against the United States. I forget if I had to swear to support the Constitution to register to vote or get a CVS ExtraCare card. I'm positive that I haven't rebelled against dear old America. Unless they mean in an ultra-cool, Rebel Without a Cause James Dean kind of way, which, in my case, is definitely no.

So, I've got the green light to apply to be President! Off to to find that job posting...


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