I guess I'm pretty much affected by Eat, Pray Love philosophies (not exactly by the book, as I've never read it).

Elizabeth Gilbert's journey to reclaim her life reminds me of my own effort to reclaim my own life by quitting my day job as a university lecturer.

I notice how many people look at my job as sort of prestigious, not to mention that I got the job at the age of 22 (while I had only a bachelor's degree), not long after I graduated from uni.

Looking back, I sometimes think "I should've followed my intuition, I should've paid more attention on what I felt about applying to the job, I should've..., I should've...", but that's history now. I no longer regret my decision to apply to the job, as at the time I only tried to make my dad happy and satisfied, though at the time I felt something was wrong about applying to the job, though at the time I wasn't comfortable in the first place about applying to the job, and though at the time I knew I never wanted to teach for a living though (ironically) I majored in English teacher education.

And I absolutely don't regret my decision to study what I studied in uni, though the major was chosen for me by my family.

I did have some fun and do get lessons from my four-year study and from my one-year experience of teaching uni students--these shall not be my reasons to feel any kinds of regret.

But after four years dealing with a study I never really chose in person and after one year doing a job I never really chose to apply personally, I knew it was time for me to reclaim my own life--in which I can decide things on my own.

Mid of March 2008--after almost a year working on something I never feel proud of, after almost a year going to bed every night restlessly for knowing that the next mornings I had to do something I didn't enjoy, after almost a year waking up every morning feeling stressed, after almost a year making teaching materials, lesson plans, and assignments I never really wanted to make, after almost a year having meetings to discuss things I never actually wanted to discuss--I eventually prepared my heart to file a resignation letter. Late March, I was totally free to do something that I've been in love with--writing and blazing the way of having my very own business (though I do know that it'd take years to accomplish).

But I wasn't financially prepared. Quitting my job even led me to a huge debt, as I had to pay the fine the uni charged me (50% of all paychecks I received). I didn't (and still don't) have much money on my savings accounts and I was (and still am) practically unemployed, no job that brings up money to pay my needs. Yet, I still survive (thank Lord). And am still trying, trying, and trying. Still struggling, struggling, and struggling.

I knew in the first place, that quitting my day job means living poorly in terms of finance. But only in finance, while I still have my God--everybody's God; the God of the riches and the God of the poor--so I need not to worry, as long as I keep struggling hard and praying hard.

Wish me luck :)

--Diar
www.gorgeousinspirations.com