By beemii on August 13, 2010
Okay so I figured I would tell you the back story of why I decided to write this blog. I am a single mother of a beautiful, smart, and loving 7 year old DD. (We'll call her Jamie). Her Father and I broke up when she was 1, we were never married. (We'll call him Tyler) Him and SM(Who we will call,Rachel) started cheating on me when I was pregnant with Jamie. Rachel at the time was married to my brother. Yes I have a Soap Opera life, hence the one tree hill names I think I will call myself Haylie. So from what I have wriiten so far you can already tell we are not big fans of each other. In Dec of 2004 a Temporary Order was set in place toi where he would have her 3 days, and I would have her 4 days. When she started school we were on better terms and we decided that paticular agreement wouldn't do and we went to week/week custody.Okay around the time she started school (PreK) she was throwing horrendous fits at school, at Tyler's home, and at Tyler's Sitter's home. It got so bad that she was being sent home from school atleast once a week.And oddly this was blamed on me. But I digress... I finally took her to a therapist and she was diagnosed with ADHD, so was put on medicine. Around this time come to find out Tyler could not afford to feed her breakfast or lunch. Now school offered them free breakfast and lunch for free through a state program. Which is great if you get the child there in time to eat breakfast. Well most of the time she was not getting to school with enough to eat breakfast when w/ Tyler and Rachel. And to put icing on the top of this already appalling cake, Even though Rachel is alreadya SAHM with her DD (will call her Amee), Rachel's younger brother was walking Jamie to school when she was at Tyler and Rachel's. Well in February of this year when I found out they were having another child, I had enough. I called Tyler and asked if we could change the custody agreement, odviously this did not go well and it ended with Tyler telling me he was going to get sole custody of Jamie, and many other wonderful things. In the process of his angry rant he told me that at temporary order was null in void. At this moment I decided to put Aylisa in a school closer to my home, and gain a lawyer. Now I know that many people out there will brnad me the typical BM b****, but I did what I felt was best for my daughter and her well being. Since March we have not heard from Tyler or Rachel. We have gone to see my ex-MiL(will call her Deb) and both my ex sil (Peyton and Brooke) so Jamie could play with her sister and cousin. They all agree with my decision. Since moving schools she has not thrown one fit. Its like she is a different child. Okay but her is what I have learned since Tyler and Rachel have not been in our lives.
It made me think that maybe just maybe we bring alot of the drama on ourselves. My DD's BF and SM are no longer in her life at this moment. And I have noticed that she doesn't mention BF but she does mention SM. When we are watching a movie she will say she watched with SM, or when I make hamburger helper she wrinkles her nose and says that SM used to always make those, so on and etc. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much I hem and haw, SM will always be loved by my daughter. Mind you she is 7, so maybe not always. But for the most part she was and is a big part of my daughters life. Now I DO NOT LIKE SM. Because I am selfish with my daughter and I do not want another person to encroach on my space. Because she does not dress my daughter in the clothes I would put on her. Because she doesn't feed my daughter enough according to my standards. Because I think she is lazy on some things when my daughter is there that I am not lazy on. Because even though she is a SAHM she didn't walk my daughter to school, but had SM's younger brother do it. Because my daughter comes home dirty. I can name so many more, some of them I have mentioned on past forums. When I think on these things, I realise that some of them are just plain stupid. I feel today that I bring alot of the drama on myself, because I felt betrayed to have to hand my daughter over 3-7 days a week. Because she was the other women and my friend. Because my daughter loves her as a mom, and not just me. So I wander if I had kept my mouth shut on the petty things, if maybe things would have ended better in february. While I feel I did the right thing, by gaining the custody I have now. I feel like I could have made my daughters life alot easier by getting over myself.
So this is me take it or leave it. =)