My realistic approach to marriage...
By Rai Collins on August 03, 2013
So. We've decided to take that step and commit to marriage.
Hooray! Yay! Goody-Goody-Gum-Drops!
Don't get me wrong - I'm happy about our upcoming nuptials but I've learned to be more realistic than romantic. This could be both bad and good but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to avoid that "empty" feeling if things should go south. I'm not getting married with the end in mind but I don't want to be unrealistic to the point of oblivion and naivety. We are all human and we're going to f*** up sometimes. We will disappoint each other and when we expect too much from a single being, not only will disappointment ensue but resentment isn't too far behind. With that in mind, I'm ready to share my world with hers but I will also make sure not to invest too much emotional dependency in the marriage. I believe if more divorced/separated couples had the uncomfortable conversations before tying the knot; the marriage could've been saved.
I'm not an expert and I don't know what to expect however, I'm willing to take the chance, hyphenate my name, buy a house and even inseminate myself with sperm to create a future with the woman I love. If our marriage dissolves, I refuse to feel as if I failed or "we" failed. Instead, I will respect the decisions made, do my best to heal and move forward.
If they're any recently married or happily married women within Blogher, please leave your comments and input. I'd love to hear from you!!
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