My sense of direction

I got lost yesterday. Really, physically lost on a trail snow-shoeing with my sister. We weren't even that far from civilization. We didn't even go that far into the woods, stopped took a break and decided to turn around and go back. What was a straight shot, I thought, turned into forks in the trail. So we got lost. My sister called 911 and the nice volunteer rescue team from the county found us from our cell phone signals and walked us out. Sounds easy huh? In theory, there was no physical tragedy. It was a sunny day after a previous day of snowfall. It took the rescue team about 90 minutes or so to get to the trail, find us and walk us out. We found out from our rescue team that many people in the area get lost on this trail because it is not well marked. It made me feel slightly better that I wasn't completely stupid.

I fear my sister has lost her confidence in me and was mad at me. I am the one who lives in the state, I have hiked more trails than she, and I am a little more physically fit. We didn't point fingers at one another but I know that a rift has been made. I feel bad. I was off my guard because we were women chatting and having fun. I didn't look at the actual trail map before walking in.  I was irresponsible. We are both self reliant women with full time jobs and we take pride in caring for our families. I goofed.

I will send my sister an apology card and a gift. Her husband and daughter who met us at the trailhead gave us new nicknames of Lewis and Clark. We may laugh about it later and my sister wouldn't admit to me that she was anxious while we waited. She vowed that she was going to get an IPhone for Christmas with a GPS and compass.  

For me, I feel that pang again of having lost my direction again in my mid-life. I am not the same girl I was 20 years ago. I am questioning myself the day after. It doesn't help that I acquired an infection in the past 24 hours and feel sick either. I thought that now I am in my 50s I would try not to be so uptight about life. I would be more carefree and take breaks from the stressors of my life. I realized, I still need to watch the signs on the trail to have some sense of direction. Patty

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