My Sense of Peace. It Was A Journey Through My Dreams.

I had a dream last night that one of my children was seriously injured in a car accident.  I woke up and realized that I had actually been crying in my sleep.  I still feel a pain in my stomach when I relive the dream in my mind.  I keep telling myself that it wasn’t real, that it was just my mind playing cruel tricks on me in my sleep.  Yet, still, I hate that horrible feeling.  Has that ever happened to you?  When a dream seems so real that you have such a hard time believing it isn’t reality.

Many years ago, I was previously married.  The last few months of that marriage were very dark and difficult.  When I hit the lowest point, I had a dream that changed everything for me.  In my dream, I was kneeling in my bed, curled up with my head to my chest.  I was crying heavily.  Then, someone came up behind me and lifted my head up and spread my arms out.  I then breathed a huge breath of air that stopped my crying and gave me a sense of peace.  I never saw who the person was in my dream but when I woke up, I was in that same position I was in my dream and I felt a sense of peace that I had not felt in months, perhaps even years.  That day, my then-husband and I separated, and eventually divorced.

The day after that dream I went to my parents house in New York.  My grandmother had an apartment on the top half of the house and her kitchen window overlooks our backyard.  It was January and I was outside in the cold, crying on my parents deck.  I looked up at her window and I smiled.  I felt that peaceful feeling from my dream again and I suddenly saw myself in the future, looking out that window onto my future wedding day.  Two seconds later, I was shaking my head at such a crazy idea.  I swore then that I would never get married again.

A few years later, I was looking out that window of my grandmother’s kitchen, and there were all my family and friends sitting at my wedding.  I did get married again. And I did look out that window.  And that sense of peace has not left me since.

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