Jessica Torres

Okay…as this is me being awesome – I’m gonna give you some info. Its up to... read more

Jessica Torres


Okay…as this is me being awesome – I’m gonna give you some info. Its up to you to believe it or not.

I was raised by a group of traveling circus freaks – thats the way I look normally.

After leaving the circus I was a merchant marine for about 4 years. Okay…gonna tell you right off the bat thats a lie. Mostly cause I dont know what a merchant marine is.

I married the most saracastic man on God’s green earth – my soul mate.

Then? I became a ninja. Still am a ninja. Don’t believe me? Did you see that? Yeah. Thought you didn’t. Why? Cause I am a ninja suhckah!

If you couldn’t tell? I am an extremely awesome, sexy and sarcastic momma to two creatures. One boy one girl. Both get on my danged nerves, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am very famous in real life, like more famous than Mickey Mouse famous. Seriously. Thats why I at first I wanted to stay anonymous. 

On a serious note – I am an awesome ninja who just kicked postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum psychosis (PPP) in the butt and out the door. I still struggle with Bipolar 2 but I say? by God’s grace I will keep on keeping on, no matter what type of crazy I have.

I’m not a labeler.

Uh, what else? I think very highly of myself. Don’t like that? I don’t give a flying fat floogie. Also? I make up a lot of words. I had another blog – Really? I’m a Mom? I graduated. I am more than just a mommy blogger now. I? Am an awesome blogger. Boom.

Oh wait. Heres another – my farts smell like roses. True story. Maybe.