My Kid Was Happy Once, Too

I see you. The self-assured parent with the happy, carefree child. I see the look on your face change when I answer the question of why my kid is in the hospital. You think I don't see it or notice it, but I do. It's a mix of pity, concern, and judgement. It's a look that says, "This would never happen to my kid." It's a look I've gotten used to seeing over the past few months. ...more
I have four daughters. When they are doing well, "people" think I am the best mother in the ... more

Don't Be Selfish By Having a Child-free Wedding

This summer, my husband and I have approximately 10,000 weddings to attend. OK, that's an exaggeration, but it definitely feels that way. In and of itself, our plenitude of weddings are a good thing. Drinks! Dinner! Butter cream frosting! The only problem with all these weddings this summer is that the vast majority of them don't include an invitation extended to our offspring....more
It is your wedding and you have every right to have it however you want. They are my children, ... more

Are Bloggers Only Writing for Other Bloggers?

If I post every day, do things on my blog change? If I post every day, do my numbers grow? By numbers we are talking engagement, followers, comments, and that ultimate Blogger-Heaven of Good Pagehits. Bloggers (including me) are trying to answer these questions for themselves during a time when we can find a lot of support from a community where others are also striving towards the same goals. We all hold hands and jump off the blogger-edge together. Thelma & Louise style. Sorta. Yet we are 10 days in to NaBloPoMo (give or take), and I find myself asking a BIGGER question: As bloggers, are we only talking to ourselves? ...more
I'm pretty sure I'm not writing mostly for other bloggers. For one thing, I did my NaBloPoMo in ... more

Guess What I Learned at My High School Reunion!

When my old boyfriend came through the door of the hotel where my 40th high school reunion was being held, three girls, wait, three 58-year-old women scurried over to quick give me the 411. ...more
I've never gone to any reunions. I was the scary smart, troublemaker in high school. Then I went ... more

5 Ways To Keep Poor Kids From Ruining Your Halloween If You're A Terrible Person

Have you heard about the wicked wealthy witch who wrote a letter to Slate's Dear Prudence advice column complaining about her 1%-er neighborhood being overrun by mini vans full of less fortunate 99%-ers out to pilfer her mountain of full size $100,000 bars on Halloween? Here it is. Get ready to cringe and seethe simultaneously. ...more
chicagomamaz StayingHome0000 I live in Santa Monica, CA and people do that here, too. We are an ... more

What Not to Say When Friends Have Lost a Child

With luck, many of us will never have to confront that moment when we have to comfort a friend who has lost a child. But should that tragic moment come, it helps to know in advance that while nothing can take the pain away magically from such a shattering loss, there are some things you can say that for some folks will make the pain worse. ...more
16 years ago, I was pregnant with twins. I miscarried and one survived to full term. My husband ... more

My Life Ended When I Became A Mother

Last week was quiet. Like freaky quiet. The house was calm. There were no slamming doors or elephant-like stampedes down the stairs or shouts of "Get out of my room NOW!" No one complained about someone else breathing their air or farting in their general proximity or licking their toothbrush just to be a smart ass. ...more
I have four children, am president of a group of technology companies and am also grateful for ... more

The Stigma of Hidden Special Needs

I have children with special needs. Hearing loss, heart defect... those don't cause people to raise an eyebrow. A murmur of sympathy for my son who as endured heart surgery? Yes. A few polite questions about hearing loss? Sure. Judgment? No. But what about other special needs? Try telling someone your child was born addicted to cocaine. Or suffers from FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). These will get you a different reaction entirely. ...more
Some people will give your children the same respect. Thirty years ago, I taught at a school for ... more

I Was the "Black Working Mom" Example

When it came time to tell my manager about my pregnancy, I worried. I knew my explanations that I wasn't pregnant during interviews or I had found out after accepting their offer wouldn't matter. She'd just think of me as a risk....more
Well, I hope you have a good experience in academia. Personally, I did not find large ... more

How You Know When There's No Going Back

“Transformation is never easy or painless, but essential to the growth of our soul.” Elizabeth Gilbert ...more
I smiled reading this as I gave up a tenured position in academia to go into consulting and then ... more