On Not Feeling Connected to Your Baby

I am sometimes struck by one very vivid memory of being pregnant with my firstborn, riding home from the ultrasound with the woman who would eventually become my daughter's mother. My daughter was kicking my bladder and ribs and everything she could so fiercely. My daughter's potential adoptive mom asked if she could touch my belly, I agreed, and as she did... my daughter stopped moving. I watched as my daughter's potential mom's face fell. She longed for some kind of connection. It made me sad for her. ...more
My kids' father was really open about his envy, especially when it came to breastfeeding, oddly ... more

You CAN Have Sex with the Lights On!

I honestly never thought much about "lights-on vs. lights-off sex" when I was younger. Now that I am in mid-life with a little extra around the middle, and authoring a new body-image site for women, it has occurred to me that this is a decision that some women make as a standing preference, much like whether you take cream in your coffee or not.  For some women, they either have sex with the lights on or they don't....more
My partner and I use sex-with-the-lights-off as a fun way to spice things up. Funny, now that I ... more

When are VOTY awards announced? I know that 12 are invited to speak, and I have no hope for that huge dream since I'm not able to attend- but wondering if the 100 are recognized/notified ahead of time? Can't wait to read those deemed the best!

When are VOTY awards announced? I know that 12 are invited to speak, and I have no hope for that huge dream since I'm not able to attend- but wondering if the 100 are recognized/notified ahead of time? Can't wait to read those deemed the best! ...more
Hey Anita! We'll be announcing all 100 in early July. All 100 will be recongized in a variety of ... more

Kids and Privacy: Where Do You Draw the Line?

It all started with a post on Huffington Post. A mother, Kim Bongiorno, admitted that she read her five-year-old child's diary because she was worried that her child was struggling with child-sized fears and she wanted to be able to assuage her child's mind.  What she found instead was love.  A long list of all the things her child loves.  Wheeeeew. Wipe brow and scene. Except that the real story took place in the comment section and all the spin-off blog posts that came from this event: should this mother have read her child's diary, or do kids have a right to privacy? ...more
Forcing a child to share every single emotion and feeling they have is irresponsible and ... more

An Open Letter to My Wife for Mother's Day

Dear Wife, In our house, there are two parents. Both of us are mothers. Both of us are hard on ourselves. Both of us feel the unique pressures of motherhood. Both of us are plagued with the guilt. And because of it, because of seeing you, I'm learning to let it all go. Having another mother right in front of me every morning, next to me each night, makes me see that motherhood is hard....more
I really like you just so very damn much. more

Naming the Dog: What's Your Method?

I have named, or helped name, a lot of dogs and my life and I've never considered any of the things suggested in The Art of Naming a Dog. I'm a little surprised they didn't mention things like Scrabble name scores because they've covered pretty much every other naming issue possible. Sheesh, how silly. ...more
My father's cat growing up was named Useless.    I personally tend to name my dogs after people ... more

Eight Evil #Earworms: Click At Your Own Risk and Pass Them On

The internet is a very dangerous place. You're just wandering around, minding your own business, trying to get some work done, and -- BAM! Someone tweets a link, you click, and OMG! #Earworm!...more
Whenever anyone in my house says they have a song stuck in their head, we shout at them THE ... more

Will You Still Eat Ikea's Meatballs After the European Horsemeat Scandal?

I’ve been watching the European horsemeat scandal with one eye because, well, it just didn’t seem like it would really affect me. That is until I saw that international retailing giant Ikea said it is pulling its meatballs from stores in more than 20 countries because a Czech Republic store found horsemeat in the product. ...more
If loving Ikea meatballs unconditionally is wrong, I don't want to be right. :) more

Yelling at Your Kids Is the Only Option Sometimes

I'm not a fan of yelling at children. In my more self-righteous parenting days (when we had just one adorable toddler), I used to say that yelling at a child was the verbal equivalent of hitting them. I still believe that -- most of the time. Obviously, yelling at your kid to stop before they run into the road doesn't count. But I admittedly do yell out of frustration sometimes. Usually when I've asked someone to do something nicely a few times with no response, or when people are repeatedly dawdling as we're trying leave the house....more
Sometimes, crazy talks. I firmly believe in a well-placed f-bomb or shout, when needed. more

Dog DNA Test: Our Beagle-Hound Is a Poodle

When I finally caved and agreed TW and Elly could have a dog for their birthday last year what it really meant was they could have a dog that I liked as much, if not more, than they did and I have a thing for beagles. So while I might have agreed to another dog, (and I would have), I was leaning heavily toward something that was "beagle-like" -- and that's how we ended up with Skeeter Bess....more
My "beagle' looks a lot like your Beagle does. I wish we'd had DNA testing done on her because ... more