Anne G. Sabo

Quizzical mama, aka Anne G. Sabo, PhD, is a former academic turned public... read more

Teaching Kids About Safety: Sometimes It's the Stranger Who's in Danger

True: We may have been a smidge on the antisocial side when we stepped into the elevator that day. It had been a long afternoon. We didn’t say hello or ask how you were doing or pass out party favors and ask for song requests. We just settled our collective gaze on the floor. It didn’t occur to me that maybe you were waiting for me to say something. But I did pick up on your hostility when I sensed your head turn and aim right at our little three-person huddle. Not a quick gander, mind you. I don’t like being stared at. Moreover, it ain’t cool to stare at my offspring. So you were already giving me the heebies before you piped up with this: “HELLO to you, too. YEAH, I get it. Strangers are DANGER, right? Especially with ‘kids’ around.”...more
You have the inherent fear of being trapped in a falling elevator.  The cable broke or ...more

Your Baby Isn't Trying to Annoy You; She's Crying to Communicate

On a recent trip to the park, I overheard a parent ranting and raving about a little one “being a brat and always pitching fits.” It took me less than two seconds of looking at the child to realize his mother had put him down on hot asphalt without shoes on, and his "fit" was actually cries of pain as he danced around trying to keep his poor little feet off the asphalt while trying to push past his mommy to get back into the car. In a few years this mother will wonder why her ten-year-old is always so sullen and silent....more
I think it's important to note that kids get your overall intentions, even if you make one or ...more

US Census Bureau to Dads: You're No More than a Babysitter

The US Census Bureau has decided that fathers watching their children is “child care” but when moms watch their kids, it’s parenting. No, really. All of that “it’s not babysitting, it’s parenting” when daddy “watches” the kids has apparently been tossed out the window and set us back decades. And by us, I am not just referring to the women who are somehow deemed the “designated parent” when both parents are present in a household, but the men as well. Apparently they don’t matter....more
Very well written article. You are right, this is terrible, we need to move forward, not go back ...more

No Excuses: Parenting Isn't Hard

Parenting isn’t hard. Well, okay, sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes I participate in a discussion about someone in public being mean to their child. By “being mean” I mean spanking, slapping, grabbing, yanking, dragging, yelling, name-calling, belittling, punishing and so forth. And there’s always someone in these discussions ready to declare that “parenting is hard” and we should therefore cut the parent some slack. And I just reject this wholeheartedly....more
What's hard in that scenario is controllng your emotions. In a grown-up relationship, the other ...more

Bad Moms Don't Always Turn into Good Grandmas

I never felt safe in my parents' home. As a child, I would instead seek shelter outside during stormy weather. I thought of this as Lilly woke crying from her nap the other day when it started thundering, and she said it was skummelt (scary). Later on as I was making dinner, I asked her how she liked our vacation in Norway from where we just returned, having stayed with my parents who still live there. Again she replied; skummelt. ...more
I couldn't have found a more identical story to what I'm going through. Thank you! I'm trying to ...more

Bad Moms Don't Always Turn into Good Grandmas

I never felt safe in my parents' home. As a child, I would instead seek shelter outside during stormy weather. I thought of this as Lilly woke crying from her nap the other day when it started thundering, and she said it was skummelt (scary). Later on as I was making dinner, I asked her how she liked our vacation in Norway from where we just returned, having stayed with my parents who still live there. Again she replied; skummelt. ...more
I couldn't have found a more identical story to what I'm going through. Thank you! I'm trying to ...more

Bad Moms Don't Always Turn into Good Grandmas

I never felt safe in my parents' home. As a child, I would instead seek shelter outside during stormy weather. I thought of this as Lilly woke crying from her nap the other day when it started thundering, and she said it was skummelt (scary). Later on as I was making dinner, I asked her how she liked our vacation in Norway from where we just returned, having stayed with my parents who still live there. Again she replied; skummelt. ...more
I couldn't have found a more identical story to what I'm going through. Thank you! I'm trying to ...more

The Stuff You Don't Know When You Ask: "So When Are You Having Another Baby?"

I knew it would happen when we got married. People would begin asking about and expecting us to want/have/produce another child. Over at my personal blog, I've made it pretty clear that parenthood suits me. I love my daughter and enjoy watching her learn and grow more than I ever imagined. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm dying to have another baby any time soon, or possibly even ever....more

The Husband I are experiencing secondary infertility and are undergoing treatment for it now. I ...more

Teaching Kids About Stranger Danger Without Scarring Them for Life

This afternoon, Maximilien was playing with a friend and he went around the corner of the building to chase after his paper airplane but then he did not re-appear right away. I waited three heartbeats before going after him. I turned the corner and he wasn't there. Then I turned the next corner and there he was... talking to a stranger. A man who was crouched down near Max with his hand on his shoulder. I can't explain the feelings I felt in that moment; before I knew it, I was yelling his name louder than I ever had....more

Interesting post and thread about a tricky subject. Both fostering a sense of trust and not ...more

Wake Up Call: 12 year-olds Charged With Attempt to Rape

Recently, in Redwood City, CA, five teenage boys were charged with the intent to commit rape on two of their female classmates during a school field trip. Everyone involved was between the ages of 12 and 14. What are we communicating to our boys that makes any of them think that violence towards women is OK?...more

I used to like Rihanna, but I was absolutely horrified to listen to her song S&M:
"Cause I ...more