The Happiness Fallacy

I have come to the conclusion that we have it all wrong, the notion of happiness as our goal in life. It's too blurry a goal, not to mention entirely self-serving.In raising and learning with my children, I confess that my greatest delinquency has been considering their happiness above all else. Now, with three pre-teens (one dangerously close to 13), I can see that such a goal has led to an embarrassing amount of ergophobia (fear of work) around here....more
@JennaHatfield It took me a while to opt out of the fallacy, I am ashamed to say. I really came ... more

Sandy Hook and School Prayer: The Good Old Days Are Getting Old

The other night, we attended a wonderful Christmas concert for the middle school. We paused at the beginning with a moment of silence for the victims of Friday's shooting at Sandy Hook. The principal, who is a nice guy and cares about the kids in his charge, said that this happened because we took God out of our schools. Most of the crowd clapped for him. I did not clap. I may have irreverently rolled my eyes, actually. Not out of disrespect for him, but at the fallacy that kids saying a generic prayer every day at school was going to make sure that a shooter would not make it in the school building. I am a Christian, and I pray. But the Good Old Days of school prayer were not perfect, and I wish people would remember that....more
Thank you for writing this.  I also have a family that could not have existed back in the "good ... more

I'm Judging Your Parenting -- Right Now

Just call me a Judgey McJudgerson because even though I have a kid, I still judge other parents. I judge often and I judge hard. I saw several moms on my Facebook feed share an article on the Huffington Post written by Kara Gebhart Uhl entitled "Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago." It's a good read; make sure to check it out. To summarize it though, Uhl apologizes to the parents she judged who ignored tantruming children, fed kids McDonald's, and complained publicly about parenting, among other things. I'm probably in the minority but I will still judge you as a parent for these things....more
I wonder what would happen if each time someone saw a screaming, tantrumming child, they stopped ... more

Hole-in-my-bucket List

How does a person re-invent herself without a publicist, a team, and a reality show?I could start big and lose 10% or so (35%?) of my body weight or trade in my mini-van for a hybrid....more
 @Darcie I know.  The Broadway one is hard for me too.  However, I do take comfort in the fact ... more

Why I Made A Kid-Free List On Twitter (And What Happened When I Did)

Creating my kid-free list seemed innocent enough to me at the time. I tend to swim in a sea that seems primarily comprised of mommybloggers and daddybloggers, and I was suddenly possessed of the urge to find and collect those out there who fit my particular demographic: people over 30 who do not have children. I intended nothing political by or pre-supposing about it. I simply had the very human desire to see myself reflected out in the world. ...more
 @Backpacking Dad I confess that this is where my own judgment originates regarding childless ... more

I Make My Kids Clean; Can I Still Call Myself an Attachment Parent?

I make my kids clean up the house, as much as one can make three fiercely independent, free-thinking children do anything. And here's why: 1. They live here. 2. They make 98.7% of the messes. 3. They live here. 4. Every member of our house functions better when it is clean. 5. They live here. 6. I am not their servant. 7. They live here rent free. Go ahead -- flame me! Kick me out of attachment parenting....more
@kievjoy Wow! You arena fascinating woman. Thank you for sharing. more

I Make My Kids Clean; Can I Still Call Myself an Attachment Parent?

I make my kids clean up the house, as much as one can make three fiercely independent, free-thinking children do anything. And here's why: 1. They live here. 2. They make 98.7% of the messes. 3. They live here. 4. Every member of our house functions better when it is clean. 5. They live here. 6. I am not their servant. 7. They live here rent free. Go ahead -- flame me! Kick me out of attachment parenting....more
 @donnamaysack "interesting", not "interested" more

I Make My Kids Clean; Can I Still Call Myself an Attachment Parent?

I make my kids clean up the house, as much as one can make three fiercely independent, free-thinking children do anything. And here's why: 1. They live here. 2. They make 98.7% of the messes. 3. They live here. 4. Every member of our house functions better when it is clean. 5. They live here. 6. I am not their servant. 7. They live here rent free. Go ahead -- flame me! Kick me out of attachment parenting....more
 @donnamaysack I always learned the same thing, Donna, and felt instinctively that we should all ... more

The Day Motherhood Brought Me to My Darkest Moment

But call it what you will. It brought me to what was perhaps my darkest moment, a moment in which I understood every mother who has done the unthinkable, abandoning through one means or another her sacred role as loving protector and caregiver. I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I couldn't find love and affection in my heart. I only felt fear and a desperate grasping for survival. I wanted to run away, to save myself -- and yet at the same time that very idea was abhorrent to me. So there I stayed, in bed; my adrenaline was pulsing and yet I couldn't move....more
Thank you for this.  I too went through such moments of despair, post-adoption depression, my ... more

A Call for the End of Birthday Party Presents

Having my kids attend birthday parties is a budget item in my life – one that is expensive, and annoying, and time consuming. And so, I make a call for the end of having to buy other kids birthday presents. Below, I have drafted an email that I plan to send to any parent who invites my child to a birthday party, effective immediately. Feel free to use this email in your own social circles. I like providing useful tools like this to my friends....more
Love this!!!  We accidentally set a precedent of planning a small, fun activity with one or two ... more