Ntozake Shange

Like a lot of people, my first encounter with Ntozake Shange was through her play For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. I read it in the 80's and immediately went looking for more of Shange's work. Unfortunately, my small library had no other books available. Several years passed before I stumbled across another of her books in a bookstore -- nappy edges was a wonderful book of Shange's poetry, and I was hooked again. ...more

I first came across "for colored girls who have considered suicide..." 3 years ago, and I was ... more

Did I Give Up Everything Wonderful and Pretty to Become a Mom?

A birth control commercial currently showing on tv depicts a handful of young, attractive women entering what appears to be a store of dreams. Everything is in miniature – here is a beautiful house, there is a trip to Paris. Two women even grab for the same good-looking guy. But when a stork carrying a little bundle of joy approaches one of the women, she shoos it away, quickening her step to avoid impending motherhood. Honestly, I think I see just the slightest wave of terror cross her face. ...more

"This motherhood thing – it’s not easy. It’s a fine balance between adoration and ... more

Anais Nin

Her erotic stories were sexually explicit, but not blunt, not coarse. They had plots, elaborate trappings, interesting characters in exotic settings. As opposed to formulaic pornography, her stories were erotic adventures. They were not, however, the embroidered bodice-rippers of today. Her characters were having sex as equals, each powerful in his or her own way. ...more

I also discovered Anais Nin in high school. I went to an all-girls boarding school and me and a ... more

The Shape of This Mother...

What do you feel when you look at that photo?Shock?Revulsion?Fear?...more

Wow, I'm honored for you to comment on this post, Bonnie! Your website truly changed my life, ... more

The Return From Iraq: When Coming Home Is Not Homecoming

Intact. We use it when “things” are “not broken,” when they are still “working.” And we use it sometimes to gloss over the hidden fissures…the cracks that deepen under stress and strain. My husband returned from Iraq on October 31, 2006 -- four and a half years ago. My husband, for whom I had waited so many months, came home but he never had a homecoming. He returned intact but with a crucial piece missing -- his men. ...more

Living near Ft. Bragg, I have many friends who are Army wives, and I've often wanted to hear ... more

Black History Month: Why I Identify as Black

Undercover Black Woman* is one of several potential names for my autobiography. It refers to the fact that I look white but identify as black. I say identify because race is not a fact of biology but a construct that varies across cultures, societies and nations. ...more

Thanks so much for your reply, I really appreciate it! Your suggestions are very helpful. Love ... more

The Happiest Day of my Life....

If there is one great lesson I have learned in the short time I’ve been married, it’s that your wedding day (if I may be so bold to say) is not the happiest day of your life.  I would even go one step further and argue it shouldn’t be the happiest day of your life....more

I completely agree! I think you put it very nicely. How sad that for some people that process ... more

Black History Month: Why I Identify as Black

Undercover Black Woman* is one of several potential names for my autobiography. It refers to the fact that I look white but identify as black. I say identify because race is not a fact of biology but a construct that varies across cultures, societies and nations. ...more

By the way, have you seen the book "Shades of Black: A celebration of our children"? It's a ... more

Black History Month: Why I Identify as Black

Undercover Black Woman* is one of several potential names for my autobiography. It refers to the fact that I look white but identify as black. I say identify because race is not a fact of biology but a construct that varies across cultures, societies and nations. ...more

Thank you so much for writing this, and sharing your perspective. My husband is from South ... more

When I Was 10, I Paid the Bills

It started when we -- my mother, brother, and I -- moved into an apartment. Up until that point we'd been living with my grandmother, and my mother hadn't had to be financially responsible for nearly ten years. (In truth, she'd never had to be financially responsible. In truth, she'd never had to be responsible.) She'd divorced my father and come to live with her mother, and there we'd stayed, through weeks that unnoticed and unmarked turned into months, then years. ...more

Something about your post made tears well up in my eyes. I think it was the honesty and rawness ... more