5 Awful Things That Happened to my Daughters in Summer Camp

I did something that totally pissed my kids off. I sent them to summer sports camp so I could work and try to make money to pay for their braces and college. That's right, I'm an asshole. After camp, when I got to the front of the pick-up line in my minivan, a 20-year-old counselor-in-training with crack-dilated eyes and green paint on his face dashed to my car, yanked my sliding door open and yelled, "Happy Leprechaun day! Who's your camper? WHO'S YOUR CAMPER???!" ...more
I will never forget when I went to camp. Once.  I got horrible food poisoning. It was ...more

8 Red Flags that my Husband needs Sex

It was time. I could tell it was time because Henry, who usually traverses the house with the stealth of a Native American tracking a herd of jittery American Bison, had begun stomping around and inadvertently slamming into furniture as if he'd become a gutshot version of one of the American Bison he was tracking.(Henry doesn't actually track American Bison. It's a metaphor. For something. In this story. Good, right?)Bottom line. Henry needed sex. I know when Henry needs sex for these reasons:...more
Good on you!  Cranky when we should be getting busy is a common theme at our house.  Finally in ...more

10 Signs you Might be Dating an Asshat and 5 Ways to Avoid Them to find Real Love

Asshats. We've all been in love with at least one. Haven't we? If you haven't, do me a service and lie.What defines an Asshat? (I'm going to refer to men, but Asshatism crosses all gender lines). My #AsshatCriteria:1. He never does what he says he'll do. He doesn't call when he says he will. He doesn't show up when he should. You frequently think he may be dead, then want to kill him when he's not....more

More Intimacy Than I was Counting on With my Breast Expert

Intimacy with strangers just happens to me. There was the gentleman confessor of an adulterous liaison on the flight back from Boulder and now there is the Breast Expert with vertigo....more

Mile-High Confessions: He is Married With a Mistress

I am frequently mistaken for a priest.People confess things to me. I don't ask them to tell me their secrets, but I must have a non-judgmental face because in under five minutes flat the gentleman in seat 2C on my flight from Denver to L.A. confessed he had a Catholic wife, two sons in Brea, California and a mistress in Schenectady:...more
I think people need to do what is best for them, without intentionally hurting someone else.  To ...more

Why I Stopped Trying to Make my Daughter be Pretty

My 10-year-old daughter Clare only likes to wear clothes from the boy's section. Preferably a boxy, shapeless t-shirt with pictures of Spiderman or any other superhero on them.She always wears two braids. Always. Even to bed. Her hair is thick, blonde and gorgeous. Clare has beautiful, wide-set blue eyes, high cheek bones and long, slender limbs that remind me of a baby colt. I think she's beautiful. She doesn't care. She's not interested in being beautiful....more
Shannon, great observation and insight!  I have a daughter in a singing group that is trying to ...more

8 Surefire Signs my Husband Needs Sex!

My husband and me six weeks after we had our last daughter....more

Long Marriage = More Adventurous Sex?

I met my friend Mistress Justine for lunch on Friday. That's not her real name, but it should be. She and her husband, Raoul (also a pseudonym) have been married 15 years and the last time we spoke Justine admitted their sex life had stagnated. They'd just gone through a major house remodel, career remodels and are raising two high energy kids....more

7 Things my Mom did to Save our Relationship

I was raised in the 70s, the era of the skyrocketing divorce rate (key parties?) and the afternoon martini cart (reference any Bewitched episodes; Samantha and both Darrens kept the Grey Goose flowing)....more

Would You Consider Having a Threesome After Marriage?

1988 was a banner year for me.I was separately invited by two male college friends to engage in a ménage à trois with them and their wives. I was never flirtatious with or attracted to these men. I didn't have a tongue bolt, a belly ring, pierced nipples or tattoos, which is how I pictured a sexual libertine. I wore button-down shirts, penny loafers and, on occasion, glasses that made me look like Sally Jesse Raphael with more hair....more
Don Draper recently had a threesome with his wife, Megan, and an actress friend on "Mad Men".  ...more