How White Women Can Be Better Allies With Black Men

In the days immediately following the George Zimmerman acquittal I was in a state of shock. I wasn’t alone. I was stuck home with children too young to take to after-bedtime demonstrations, so I sat in front of my computer and tweeted with like-minded, grieving, angry fellow travelers....more
this: "As a white woman, I feel a special responsibility (I almost wrote “culpability” and I’m ... more

Flying While Something Other Than Whatever Bigots Think is Acceptable

Recently I got into a Twitter conversation with a friend who lives on the West Coast of the United States and is planning a cross-country road trip with her boyfriend.From couches they could crash along the way, the talk soon turned to race and safety.My friend is Black. And while most major U.S. cities have their minority-friendly zones, the vast spaces between those major cities can sometimes be questionably comfortable for non-white people....more
thank you for sharing this.  I know I as a white woman living in a very white area need to hear ... more

The Shame of Addiction: Are Parents to Blame for Their Kids' Addiction?

My brother is a heroin addict. I am not ashamed of this. I do not hide from it and I speak openly about it. I write a different blog that talks about the effects his addiction has on my life, my husband’s life, and my family’s life. Even though I speak about his addiction, many do not. Many people are ashamed of the addict in their family. Many people hide the fact that addiction has affected them in some way. I don’t. I am not ashamed. I did nothing to make my brother an addict. My parents did nothing to make him an addict. He choose his path and we pay....more
Amen.  Amen.  Thank you. more

Lent: Learning How to Die

I am realizing, as the new Lenten season broadens around us, that my fears, my uncertainties about who this God I gave my heart to is really, that they're about dying. Dying to myself and my selfishness, to what I...more
@Sista Pastah big hugs to you.  I'm sorry that this Lenten season was hard, but so grateful for ... more

Lent: Learning How to Die

I am realizing, as the new Lenten season broadens around us, that my fears, my uncertainties about who this God I gave my heart to is really, that they're about dying. Dying to myself and my selfishness, to what I...more
@JennaHatfield thank you so much, Jenna <3 more

Lent: Learning How to Die

I am realizing, as the new Lenten season broadens around us, that my fears, my uncertainties about who this God I gave my heart to is really, that they're about dying. Dying to myself and my selfishness, to what I...more
@wdolderer what a terrible thing, to have to watch your loved one slip away.  thank you for your ... more

Lent: Learning How to Die

I am realizing, as the new Lenten season broadens around us, that my fears, my uncertainties about who this God I gave my heart to is really, that they're about dying. Dying to myself and my selfishness, to what I...more
@pepper50 thank you so much!  <3 more

In Which I Try Not To be Afraid of Myself

"And if all I can think about is people yawning at my vulnerable dreams with their big eye-glazed stares, and my natural response is to kick, kick, kick at myself because I don’t want to be yawned at or glazed over, or be different than what is normal and convenient and that for which people have the patience for, then what, oh what, am I missing of my one true self? What would it look like to be untamed, vulnerable, running wild, brazen, free?"...more
@jessd0727 thank you so much! it's so hard learning to not apologize for that 80%... more

Does Your Blog No Longer Fit You?

Except that I have realized lately that I seem to be telling a very different story from the one that I started to tell almost three years ago. Back then the story was about getting remarried and lots and lots of parenting. Principessa this, Principessa that. A little fitness thrown in here and there, but mostly, mom-mommy-parenting stuff. Which of course is not what I am writing about anymore. Or at least, not primarily. Which begs the question...is Ciao Mom even the appropriate name of this space? ...more
I struggled with that in the first few years I blogged.  I'd get into a certain theme, change my ... more

Speaking about Stillbirth and Why It's Important

Washington Post columnist, Alan Goldenbach, wrote a moving piece this week in the newspaper about the death of his son in-utero and society's inability to discuss stillbirth and neonatal death. What wasn't quite so moving were some of the comments that came as a response to the article. The believed anonymity of the Internet brings out cruelty. It isn't anything the average person experiencing a loss hasn't heard before: ...more
My first child was stillborn, which no cause for her death determined, in November.  I wish I'd ... more