Is My Willpower Challenge Over Now?

When we first starting talking about Kelly McGonigal's book The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It, I was intrigued but I wasn't sure how I'd feel about actually doing my willpower challenge. What would I learn? Would be be scary? What if I failed? Well, I've learned and I've struggled. Does that mean I'm done now? ...more
I've learned that it's really, really easy for me to backslide. Oh, wait. I already knew that. ... more

Discovering My Challenge Within My Willpower Challenge

I have to say that my willpower challenge is still going well. If I learned anything at all from Kelly McGonigal's The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It it's that paying attention to why you are -- or are not -- doing something is really important....more
My challenge is saying "Screw it, I'm going to do what I want even if it's contrary to what I'm ... more

What I've Learned (So Far) From My Willpower Challenge

I was scared when I announced my willpower challenge last week. While I totally understood why Kelly McGonigal suggests that you do one while reading her book, The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It, I was wary. I was concerned not only about what I might learn about myself -- what if none of the strategies worked?...more
I've learned, since starting my willpower challenge, that I have a lot more control over many, ... more

What Is Your Willpower Challenge?

In her new book The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., suggests the best way to learn about the self-control methods she discusses is to take a willpower challenge. I hesitated. I am not big on resolutions, perhaps because I never stick with them. I was also intrigued because her book offered me some new perspective on willpower and self-control. ...more
Not bingeing on my eating. I'm not "fat" by any cry, but I'd love nothing more than to sit in ... more

The Magical Post-Breakup Makeover

After a breakup, particularly one you did not initiate, your self confidence can take a bit of a beating. During this time my friends and I frequently turned to the magical healing powers of a post-breakup makeover. We would change our hair or buy a new outfit and they became our new armour against the hurt....more
After a particularly bad breakup, I reinvented everything I could reinvent, save for the things ... more

How Soon Is Too Soon For Couples Therapy?

Since I had not read Bared to You, the first book in Sylvia Day's Crossfire series, I was surprised to find that Eva and Gideon were in couple's counseling. Based on what I had read to that point in Reflected in You, their relationship still seemed young and new. By Eva's own admission, they hadn't been together that long:...more
I commend Eva and Gideon for addressing their (plethora of) issues via couples therapy, and ... more

What Does Independence Mean To You?

At some point, we all strive for a little independence in our lives. We want to make our own decisions -- call the shots. We want to control our own destiny. Eva, the main character in Sylvia Day's Reflected in You, craved independence from an early age, in large part due to the fact that in many ways her mother was dependent on the men in her life. ...more
My personal definition of independence would be living the way that I want, free of judgement ... more

Friends Help Make Breakups Bearable

I don't think there's really any way to say it except this -- breakups suck. Whether you are prepared for them, are the person doing the breaking up, or if you are blindsided by them, they just simply suck. We might pretend everything is ok and go through our days telling everyone that we are just fine, but friends know better. They know when we're lying to them and when we're lying to ourselves....more
I have friends that were there for me through a particularly painful breakup. I couldn't even ... more

How Do You Recharge?

Sometimes, we all need a little time to recharge. We each have our own way of doing that. Sometimes we do it alone. Other times we call upon our friends and loved ones to help us recharge our batteries. In Sylvia Day's Reflected in You, Eva recharges with her best friend, Cary. ...more
Bath. Coffee. Good books. Basically any kind of indulgence that involves food, drink, and sloth. Ha! more

Using Texts To Strengthen Your Relationship

I firmly believe that technology had changed how we do relationships. When we are apart from our loved ones we don't just have to rely on phone calls and letters. We have emails, social media, and yes, even text messages at our disposal as a means to communicate. Sometimes it's easier to put our thoughts out via text than it is in person, as Sophie Morgan discovered in Diary of a Submissive:...more
I think if it weren't FOR texting, there'd be some people (in my family, sad as it is to say) ... more