What It Feels Like To Be a Woman

My senior year in high school I rode the bus to school on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. But not on Tuesdays. On that one day of the week, my friend Michelle was allowed to drive her parents' car to school....more

In Praise of Aunts

First of all, let me start by saying that this post is not intended as a slight to uncles, who can be pretty awesome, too. I just happen to have aunts on my mind today because one of mine is approaching a milestone birthday. I'll tell you about her later in this post. First I want to highlight my great aunt Georgie. Though I never met this aunt of my mother's (she died before I was born), I am connected to her by an almost-naming. Let me explain....more
@ThankfulPeach Thanks! I totally get that ... the gratitude for knowing these people we weren't ...more

Learning to Inhabit My Body

I have struggled all my life to be fully present. As a child, I was frequently identified by others as "spacey," "a daydreamer," and "off in her own world." I moved into adulthood as a reader and a writer. I tend to live in my head, ignoring -- or attempting to ignore -- the body. ...more

Why I've Been Avoiding My Spiritual Community

For the past 10 years, I've been a part of a spiritual community that both nurtures and inspires me. I have been an active volunteer in this congregation. I have felt strong connections to the people there. I married my husband in the sanctuary. A few years ago when asked in a meditation workshop to close my eyes and think of a place where I belonged, it was the building where this congregation gathers that came into my mind.So why haven't I been there in several months? ...more
@j9nkidz Thanks for your comment. A couple of things were going on. 1) As I mentioned, I have ...more

The Day Motherhood Brought Me to My Darkest Moment

But call it what you will. It brought me to what was perhaps my darkest moment, a moment in which I understood every mother who has done the unthinkable, abandoning through one means or another her sacred role as loving protector and caregiver. I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I couldn't find love and affection in my heart. I only felt fear and a desperate grasping for survival. I wanted to run away, to save myself -- and yet at the same time that very idea was abhorrent to me. So there I stayed, in bed; my adrenaline was pulsing and yet I couldn't move....more
@MonikaZimmerman Thanks! I'm really glad this one has gotten attention because I think it's such ...more

Let's Get Real: Embracing Duality in Adoptive Families

In her book Journey of the Adopted Self, Betty Jean Lifton addresses the sticky issue of the word "real" in adoptive families: "The adoptive mother believes she is the real mother because she is the one who got up in the middle of the night and was there for the child in sickness and health....more
Great post, that book sounds really good for people who have experienced or are experiencing ...more

Are You an Attuned Adoptive Parent?

When a baby cries, an attuned parent or caregiver recognizes this as a communication of an unmet need and subsequently tries to a) decipher the communication, and b) meet the need. Repetitions of this cycle facilitates attachment between the child and their caregiver....more

Returning to Running in Middle Age

Somewhere inside of me is the skinny runner I used to be -- the one who could run a mile in close to 5 minutes, who for a short time in college ran 70 miles a week, and who completed the Boston Marathon, albeit as an unofficial entry. I am 25 pounds heavier, and a decade older, than when I last ran for fitness, and 40 pounds heavier than when I ran competitively....more

Why I Adopted from Foster Care ... And Why I'd Do it All Again

People often ask me why I decided to adopt from foster care. As with so many things in life, there is no one simple answer. My husband and I had a desire to grow our family and a vague awareness that there was a need for parents to adopt older children, who are considered difficult to place compared to infants and toddlers....more
I could not agree with you more Rebecca! I support all kinds of adoption but foster care is ...more

Debunking the "Confusion Myth" of Open Adoption

Earlier today I was reading a list of Adoption Myths and Facts at www.adoptionhealing.com (under the education tab), and one myth in particular jumped out at me: Having regular contact with the Natural family would be confusing and destructive to the adopted child and her family...more