The Death of a Dream: I Spent the Weekend With An Old Boyfriend

So began the weekend I'd anticipated for decades, or more recently, the seven months it took to lose a lot of weight and learn to talk in an inside voice again. The weekend I'd see Tony, my boyfriend from 40 years ago who I'd never forgotten and in whose memory I'd woven a strangled web of nostalgia, sexual fantasy and just the eensiest smidgen of middle-aged desperation. And in which he was entangled, at best from affection and desire, at worst from the fear he'd wake up one morning to find me in his driveway with a suitcase and a cat....more
Oh Lawd. I'm wondering if this is "my" Tony who is the-one-who-got-away and spends time in ... more

The Real Struggle is...Struggling? Happiness as a Choice

There was a moment a few months ago when it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had to get completely honest or I would die. Life as I knew it had become simply intolerable. I was born poor and, despite all my ambition, talent, skill, manipulations, education, effort..., was poor now and -- gasp! -- may die poor. After I stopped having an emotional temper tantrum (I was mortified! This can't be true! It's unAmerican even!) I began slowly to make peace with what is already true. ...more
@GoFashionDeals It's amazing how much just being honest (about what happens to be true anyway, ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@Mama Pants (Delete this if I have violated boundaries.) I was really fortunate to hear a ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@SheriAnnRicherson My heart breaks for you and my experience was very much like yours. There is ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@Mama Pants  @icindy I believe this is one of the secrets that exists in the military community ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@CreoleContessa Not my point at all. Has nothing to do with "rich." It has to do with ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@icindy I no longer believe I will ever get over it but I do have the ability to heal a little ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@Stacy Morrison  @Mama Pants I am certain I am not the only one with PTSD bells ringing and ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@Mama Pants  @Cathy Steinberg There is also (in my experience) the weapon of audacity. He can do ... more

5 Things I Want to Tell Nigella Lawson

On Sunday, photos were published showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being grabbed on the throat by her husband. The photos splashed over the internet showed him holding her by the throat and her leaving the restaurant in tears. It should come as no surprise that this story caught my attention. Ten years working with women escaping domestic violence leaves its mark on a person. I will always be a victim advocate even if I am no longer in the field....more
@CreoleContessa Ever hear the saying, "When you are a hammer, the whole world looks like a ... more