Using Texts To Strengthen Your Relationship

I firmly believe that technology had changed how we do relationships. When we are apart from our loved ones we don't just have to rely on phone calls and letters. We have emails, social media, and yes, even text messages at our disposal as a means to communicate. Sometimes it's easier to put our thoughts out via text than it is in person, as Sophie Morgan discovered in Diary of a Submissive:...more
I think in this age of technology, texting is essential to a relationship. I text my family, my ... more

Using the Internet to Find Your Community

The process of finding your community has changed a lot since the internet came into being. It used to be that we'd have to head out in our actual physical community and attempt to find the people with the same interests as us. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. If it didn't work, you could feel very isolated. When the internet came along, we could find and connect with people that shared those interests from all around the world....more
The internet is the best way to get in contact with a community. Whether it be BDSM, online ... more

Where Do You Find Confidence?

Confidence takes many forms. We can have confidence in our abilities. We can have confidence in our personal relationships. Most of all, we can have confidence in ourselves. In Diary of a Submissive, Sophie Morgan shares her story about how she found the confidence to not only take what life threw at her, but also to seek the things she really wanted in life. ...more
I find confidence in my kinky friends. In their strength through their pain, through their lives ... more

What Would You Do If You Couldn't Fail?

Brene Brown's Daring Greatly made me think a lot about failure. When we make ourselves vulnerable we open ourselves to a lot of things, some good and some positive. One of the things that we make possible when we do this is something many people, myself included, fear -- failure. When we make ourselves vulnerable we risk failure and that is a heady, wonderful, terrifying thing. ...more
Without the fear of failure, I would sign up for super dangerous activities like sky diving and ... more

Plan B Parenting

In no other area of my life have I found myself as deeply vulnerable than as a parent. And that's why -- when my daughter was very young -- if you judged my parenting, I would jump down your throat. Then I would go home and cry and Google parenting websites and hold myself accountable for my daughter's milestone progress, her sleep habits, my mood, her nutrition and the state of foreign wars....more
My daughter's father walked out on us three weeks ago, and every time I go pick her up after ... more

Vulnerability and Shame in the Workplace

As we've discussed, feeling vulnerable is hard and frequently scary. The vulnerability hangover? It sucks. When I was reading Daring Greatly I was very wary of what Brene Brown was going to say about vulnerability in the workplace. It's a mixed bag for me. There are workplace environments where I've felt pretty darned comfortable with vulnerability and others where I avoided it like the plague. To my surprise, I found myself nodding right along with a lot of what Brown had to say about being vulnerable at work. ...more
I used to work in residential treatment for violent children with autism. We had constant ... more

I Broke: I'll Never Forgive Myself for Hitting My Autistic Son

I'm on the floor of the bathroom with my fingers in my ears. I'm not sure it was even necessary as I wouldn't be able to hear the cries of my child over the cries of my own. I'm crying so hard that my body has started to shake with exhaustion, and I'm sweaty from the exertion. In the other room Casey screams from his car seat that I ripped from the car to buckle him in because I did not know what else to do. He's safe. Safe from himself, and so much worse, safe from me. I hit him. I hit my six-year-old autistic son. ...more
As a woman that used to work with Autistic children in a residential setting, I think you are ... more

The Vulnerability Hangover

In Brene Brown's Daring Greatly, she talks about what happens after you allow yourself to be vulnerable. She says, with a little help from Leonard Cohen, "often the result of daring greatly isn't a victory march as much as it is a quiet sense of freedom mixed with a little battle fatigue." She sometimes refers to this as the vulnerability hangover. ...more
I remember the first time I said the 'L' word to my daughter's father. He said it first, and I ... more