Everyone Yells: It's What You Do After That Counts

Have you ever met one of those people who will swear up and down that they have never yelled at their kids? It probably made you second-guess your own interactions with your kids as you try to slide the dust bunnies back under the couch because along with their "I never yell at my kids" admission is also the heartfelt assurance that their house is spotless. Here's a secret, they are lying to you. It's not to make you feel bad (it might be). Rather, they want to believe and erase the memory of being the one to cause the kind of pain that comes from being a jerk that makes a child cry. And, everyone wants a clean house. But we can all be jerks. It's part of being human. It's what we do afterwards that counts....more
My mom yelled.  Trinidadian women can be passionately joyful, angry, and everything in between.  ... more

What Makes a Good Mom Anyway?

My youngest son has taken to telling me that I’m his favorite mommy. That’s good. I’m also his only mommy, so there’s that. It got me to thinking recently, that since I’m the only mom they have, they really don’t know if I’m a fantastic mom or a crappy mom or something in between. (It’s more the in between.) I thought that would be an interesting concept to explore during our More than Mother’s Day celebration -- and wouldn’t you know it, someone submitted a post talking about just that very thing!...more
Dr. Leigh's response:   Finding ways to really have fun together. We have Friday morning party ... more

"Defriending" on Facebook

So, I defriended someone today on facebook. I don't normally do this, because I always feel like they are going to know and it's going to be awkward when we run into each other. But you know what? When you run into someone who is a facebook friend, and it IS awkward because they don't even say hello, then off the list they go!But I wish that there was some sort of drop down menu to select from when you defriend someone. If there were, I would like to add these as the optionsA. You are just too weird...more
LOL!  There should be lists of 'family', 'going out with friends', 'work friends', and 'random ... more

Should Salons Have Child Free Policies?

Have you and your children ever been turned away from somewhere? Not because the kids are being loud and obnoxious. But just because they EXIST. That’s what happened to me today....more
I think that the real problem is that this society doesn't support working single moms.  I would ... more

I Used to Have Ann Romney's Life. I Had Privilege.

Note: This piece was fueled by exasperation and inspired by two excellent blogs posts -- by Grace Hwang Lynch and Pamela Kripke -- that urge those who "got privilege" to name it. I used to have Ann Romney's life. The first time around I married into a family that was rich. Romney Rich....more
Wow!  This is like reading 'Cinderella' but for single mom!  Your post actually made me ... more

A Definitive Test for Alzheimer's Disease: Why I'd Want My Parents to Take It

And if it were me? I'd want to sit down with my husband and daughter and prepare them for the disease, exactly what was going to happen to me, how I not only would not know who they were, but I might hate them. I might be angry or irritable on a daily basis. I might push them away as though they were total strangers. I might break their hearts to the extent they wished I would die and leave them alone to grieve who I was instead of having to face every day who I'd become, the thing I'd become. I'd want to tell them over and over how much I loved them, make videos and tape recordings of me saying that, over and over, I love you, I love you, I love you. Please remember me like this. Don't listen to me if I ask you who you are. Remember me like this, full and whole and sharp and soft and here. ...more
The best thing that my sister told me when my mother started getting angry and verbally abusive ... more

What Makes Me Really Angry? Dementia.

I first noticed signs of my mother’s dementia during a trip home to Minnesota.  I remember feeling panicked.  You see, my dad had Alzheimer’s disease and needed full-time care for more than five years.  That long, awful journey took a terrible toll on him as well as my mom, who was his primary care giver.  My sisters and I watched helplessly as my dad turned into a shell of a person....more
You're so right.  I struggle with the notion that there is so little support for people with ... more

Five Ways We Mess Up Our Kids

I think one thing that is hard to remember as a parent in the trenches of parenting is that we have a relationship with our children. Just like any relationship, it needs to be tended to with care and involves a give and take, not just me telling my kids what to do all day long. Over at Couple Dumb, a recent post made me think about some of that give and take and whether or not I've been making the best decisions. It's a thought-provoking post. ...more
It's a little funny when I look back on how I (and my friends) grew up, and how kids are raised ... more

How Do I Lead When I'm Not in Charge?

I get a little nostalgic in October remembering my late parents whose birthdays were this month. So when Bonnie McEwan, president of the public interest communications firm Make Waves, suggested I write about how people in middle management can be leaders, I chuckled to think of one of my father's favorite sayings: Everybody puts their pants on one leg at a time. That conjures up amusing pictures that equalize people regardless of their stature in the formal organization chart. ...more
I've worked across many teams in which the person who 'lead' the team was not the official ... more

Food Blogging: Ten Things I've Learned in Five Years

It's challenging for me to remember exactly when I wrote my first post five years ago, but I'm fairly certain it was sometime late this month. If web years are anything like that of dog years, then that is quite a good length of time. I searched the archives but knew before I began that I'd long ago deleted the first few posts because they were only worthy of being the best examples of aimless wandering. I was testing the water, wondering what might come from a seemingly simple decision to write about food....more
I'm a total blogging newbie, and checked out your post to see what I should (and should not be ... more