When the Wicked Stepmom Becomes Your Mom

I was two years old when my stepmother Gini burst into my life like a glamorous, marauding Valkyrie set on bending me to her will. She had platinum blond hair worn in an Aqua-Net bouffant, thick black eyeliner, and a figure Jayne Mansfield would've killed for. At night she peeled her false eyelashes off like she was undressing her face....more
You are lucky to have a step mom who loves you just as much as she loves her own children. more

My Mother's Body Got Lost

I'm trying to plan my mother's funeral, but we have a problem. We can't find her. My mother passed away Saturday after a long illness. I had all the funeral arrangement planned months in advance, so I was prepared when the inevitable happened. After she died, I contacted the proper authorities to transport her body 100 miles to her hometown of Wendell, Idaho for the funeral and burial. ...more
Glad to hear you found your mother. I know it must have been a frustrating time. I've heard the ... more

Lyme Disease: Tricky to Diagnose and Other Things You Need to Know

I have no medical training, so this should not be taken as medical advice. If you are wondering about symptoms, get off the internet and call a qualified physician! Let's talk about ticks. Ugh, my head is itchy just thinking about it. I'm going to go take a shower now. Okay, I'm back. Just thinking about ticks gives me the heebie jeebies. But I've got to write about them (and compulsively scratch myself all the while) because I've learned some things about ticks and Lyme disease that I didn't know two weeks ago. We just got the test results back. My little guy has Lyme disease and is on a course of antibiotics for it. Which means it's likely that there's a tick somewhere in my house. ...more
I have two friends who have Lyme Disease. One announced it on Facebook about a year ago. The ... more

I Was Called a Bitch This Morning

I was called a bitch this morning.By a very nice-looking young man in a football jersey riding a homecoming parade float.This was because I didn’t stop to let the float he was on turn into the parking lot.I looked behind me. There were no cars after me. I knew the float would easily turn after I passed.So I gave a little wave of my hand.Then I heard from my open sun roof:“I wasn’t waving — I was telling you to stop, bitch.” ...more
You do realize that being called a Bitch is a compliment. ... more

Birthday Redo: Why We Repeated Our Daughter's First 9 Birthdays

She was sobbing that she wished she was only six one morning and an idea popped into my head. We missed out on her first nine birthdays. Her tenth birthday was the first one we were part of and it was the first birthday party she’d ever had. I decided to redo all of the others. ...more
What an awesome idea!!! I wish I had thought of that when our kids came to us. Ironically our ... more

There Are All Kinds of Ways to Lose a Child

It is enough to gaze into trees climbing the hill above us. It is almost time to leave but I cannot turn the radio off. I stand there, losing precious moments in a busy day, savoring the gentle voice of a stranger -- a man whose son killed himself. He says, “there are all kinds of ways to lose a child.” How do you tell someone your 17 ½ year old daughter is gone -- alive, but gone....more
I know exactly how you feel. Our 19 year old adopted son apparently thinks that his birth mother ... more

Dear Toddler Mom From Chuck E. Cheese

Dear Toddler Mom From Chuck E. Cheese: Hi there. Remember me? I'm the one who got hit in the back of the head with the heavy wooden skee ball you let your toddler throw. I'm also the one who gave you the dirty look as you retrieved it from between the legs of another child at a neighboring game and handed it back to your toddler to try again. And again....more
I would send this letter to the newspaper. Maybe she might actually get the picture. more

Help! My Daughter Defriended Me!

Dear Mouthy Housewives, I recently noticed that my daughter defriended me on Facebook. She's 16 and although I don't have any particular worries, I'm concerned that this is a bad sign. What do you think? Signed,Friendless on Facebook...more
My youngest adopted son has not only unfriended me and my husband but has even blocked us. He ... more

Waiting at Christmas: Keeping the Bittnerness at Bay

The holidays are the hardest to be without a child. Last Christmas I thought, "We will for sure have a child by then!" And we didn't. Christmas morning felt a little empty. Being around relatives with young children was painful for both of us. I thought, "Thank goodness I will never have to do this again." Well, it turns out that God has other plans for us. I don't know what they are, but part of it is that we will probably, most likely, have another Christmas with no child....more
There are tons of kids in foster homes waiting for a permanent family. You should look into ... more

I Don't Like My Son Very Much Right Now

I’m going to be honest with you guys. I’m really tired of my son. The level of disrespect and general level of unhappiness is becoming so distressing that I’m barely functioning as his mother. I don’t want to be around him. I don’t want to do anything for him....more
My husband and I adopted a boy at age 11 who had lived with us since he was 9 1/2. He was a BIG ... more