Wearing Pink Shoes While Black -- and Male

By Liz Rose-Cohen My son started preschool last Spring, and the more we learned the more we couldn’t believe our luck. One of his teachers is an African American woman. That wasn’t luck. That was planning. Like we moved 700 miles so we could live in a town with a significant African American population and then chose a Montessori preschool with a significant number of African American teachers. That kind of planning. But the fact that she has dark skin was luck. Because my kids have fairly dark skin. ...more
This was a blow to my heart. It is a struggle to help our kids navigate the world colorblind ... more

My Kid Can Read and Now My Life Is Ruined

We have a new “issue” in our house that has me rethinking every written word we’ve ever come across. Something recently clicked in our five-year-old son’s head and he can read. Anything. Exciting, right? It is! I love when he reads to me from his books. I think it’s adorable when he reads to his brother. So what’s the problem? He can read. Anything. ...more
My first reality check wasn't even my kid! When my niece learned to read she read a magazine ... more

I Bought My Clothes for BlogHer '11 at Goodwill

I have done almost all my BlogHer '11 shopping this year at Goodwill. And no, I'm not making that up....more
I am an avid thrifter. I buy clothes great home items and all from Goodwill and my favorite ... more

Extreme Couponing: My Binder is a Mess

So. I went with the binder system. Sort of. At any given time over the last month, you could find stacks of printable coupons in just about every room of the house. OK not quite, but it felt that way. In those early weeks, I had no idea how many coupons I should print - or even WHICH coupons to print. Plus, RJ (the 15 year old) helped and printed a bunch of coupons I already had (or would never use.) I was (and still am, to some extent) drowning in printed coupons! I had a binder that the 15 year old did not want to use for school this year, so I decided I'd use it.

Black History Month: Why I Identify as Black

Undercover Black Woman* is one of several potential names for my autobiography. It refers to the fact that I look white but identify as black. I say identify because race is not a fact of biology but a construct that varies across cultures, societies and nations. ...more

My family picture looks much like yours. My mother and sister are dark, my dad brother and I ... more

Gay on the Playground

My mother didn’t want me to have children. She had given up trying to change my lady-loving ways but was adamant that I not bring a child into my “lifestyle”. She argued that if we had a boy, he would never learn to pee standing up and if we had a girl, we wouldn’t know how to do her hair. Given arguments with such substantial merit, it’s amazing that I had the courage to persevere. I reminded my mother constantly about our intention to have kids – every time we saw a baby or a commercial for diapers and even when I ran across a conversation heart that said “baby”. It became a game – “Ways to Remind Mom We Intend to Have Kids” which was a lot like Family Feud but with more feuding and less cheering. Each time, she simply pursed her lips, closed her eyes and shook her head. When I finally got pregnant and told her the news, she was absolutely silent – no sighing, no audible pursing of the lips. Then she asked what I expected her to say and I suggested that most people go with “Congratulations”. For the record, she did not go with “congratulations”.  My mother believed what many people believe – living as an out lesbian is my choice but an unfair burden on children. ...more

This was a beautiful post. I loved your way of dealing with this as I would have probaly been ... more

Teaching Manners To Children Other Than Your Own

Growing up, manners were no small joke in our household. Lessons learned that I used to find embarrassing I am grateful for today. I was taught to not only say hello to the parent of a friend I was calling on the telephone but announce who I was. Friends who called me on the phone and gave the usual, "Is Reedu there?" were answered by my mom with a "Yes," and a dial tone....more

I could go on and on with this. But I will say this it takes a village. One of the biggest ... more

Own Your Beauty: Why I Chopped My Hair

I've had the short 'do for a little over a month now and I'm still getting lots of compliments, which is fun. Most important, I really love it. Everyone asks me, 'What made you do it?' and my answer's sort of long-winded but essentially it comes down to this... I'd like to try to be the truest version of myself. And the truth is, I'm going gray. ...more

I loved this. I have had a love hate relationship with my hair for years then one day I did ... more

Please Let Me Name Your Baby

I'm obsessed with baby names. Freakishly obsessed. In fact, I'd like to name your baby. Ask my friends. I'm breathlessly giddy when someone asks my opinion on a combination of first and middle names with the surname or the siblings' names. My heart races just thinking about it. ...more

If only some people had contacted you before naming their children. I have a long long list of ... more

Please Apologize to Tucson

I wrote this post as a comment on Faustasblog when I followed a link on What's Hot here on BlogHer back to her rather nasty post and the echo chamber in her comments.  I tried to post it but I got nothing saying it would be moderated or that posts were closed.  So I am posting my response here. ...more

What gets me is how some people think everything they think should be said, written about or be ... more