4 Widows and a Medium: A Chat with my Dead Husband

Tiffany, Kelly, and I sat in a circle at an outdoor table at a  cafe downtown. People surrounded us, surely listening in on our unconventional conversation, as we candidly (and probably too loudly) spoke of dead husbands, live boyfriends, and various other socially unacceptable topics for public dinner chat. "Dude, I've been watching this Long Island Medium show and end up a crying blubbering mess every     time. I've really been thinking about talking to one. I feel like I really need to talk to Cleve." ...more

Warrior Dash 2012 - Mountain City, Georgia

I am currently recovering from one of the best weekends ever. Before I show you our muddy gloriousness, I must recommend that if you've ever considered doing a Warrior Dash, you must. It is so much fun....more

Juggling The Past With The Present

Aren't these things supposed to become easier? That is what people keep telling me, " Oh, honey. It gets easier." Ok, that's nice... I'm still waiting....more

It's Been Two Years - And it still hurts

Yesterday I woke up at 5 A.M. as I usually do. I put my slippers on, dragged myself to the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and looked in the mirror. I felt a little more tired than usual - a little heavier. My motivation to go to school was lacking. The bed was calling my name. I looked in the mirror and analyzed my aging, tired face. Every small wrinkle and flaw seemed to be more obvious than usual. I don't typically notice, but I have changed so much, especially since he's been gone. I don't like it....more

My Heavy Heart

I'm not sure what it is exactly, but my shoulders (and my heart) are feeling the weight of the world right now. I'm sure it's a mixture of things - the time of year (I HATE April and can feel it breathing down my neck), the clouds in the sky, and maybe even it being my girly time - but it doesn't change it from feeling really, really crappy....more

'Tis better to have loved

A lot has changed for me. It's all changed so quickly that it took me literally stopping and really looking back to realize just how different everything really is; how different I am. It's kind of insane. I've had to make so many huge decisions in the past couple of years. Decisions that would change everything. Now here I am looking back and wondering... how the hell did I get here? Not long ago my life seemed pointless - doomed. I was a new widow; a sad, lonely, depressed, widow who lost her only real love....more
I'm so sorry for your loss but I am happy that you have been able to find love again. I wish ...more

Spread Some Love People!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Remember that even if you are alone or just hate the holiday for your own reasons (I know many of you do), instead of spending the day resentful,Valentine's Day just happens to be the perfect excuse to go out and do something nice for someone, even if that someone is a stranger. Just think of how much better you'll feel after making someone smile! So, go out there and spread love to your fellow man (and woman)! Love you guys. <3...more

Walking to Listen - How a complete stranger on the side of a country road touched my life

Yesterday was a difficult day, or at least it started that way. As I was doing my morning ritual of driving an hour and a half to school, the song I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday started playing. Though the song is on my iPod, and I've heard it many times, this time the words hit me like a ton of bricks. As the sun rose on the horizon, grief's thick, heavy blanket rose with it  and for the rest of the day I was drowning in thoughts of Cleve; first as I drove, then in between classes as I walked to my next destination....more

Lessons in my first weeks of college

I have been busy, busy, busy with school.  I LOVE it. I don't even care that some of it is hard (French). It just makes me that much more determined.  Here are a few lessons I learned in the last two weeks: ...more

Non-Traditional Student

The first time I applied for college was when I was 20 years old. I had been married for only a couple of months, my husband was deployed,  and I had recently realized that my current career, flight attending, just did not fit in with my new life. I needed something more stable - something that gave me a better paycheck and allowed me to be home every night. I knew the only way I would be able to get what I wanted was to go back to school, so I signed up. ...more
@Denise Thanks, girl!! <3more