Planning Ahead

NOW when the number of my years is all fulfilled, And I From sedentary life shall rouse me up to die, Bury me low and let me lie Under the wide and starry sky. Joying to live, I joyed to die. Bury me low and let me lie. ...more

SG's theory of the Universal Application of Love

In a conversation with SG last night about religion, Jesus and what SG calls his theory of the Universal Application of Love as Christ's answer to pretty much every problem that exists, I was translating horse and human behavior as I am often wont to do. ...more

The Snow Fell - and I right along with it

Finally, it came.  Boy, howdy, did it come.  We got a good six inches between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning.  School was delayed, meetings were cancelled, we pretty much didn't leave the house except for putting the kids on the bus and getting them back off.  The kids had a blast playing in the snow.  All Wednesday it was the perfect snowball snow - fluffy, just wet enough to stick together to form a ball.  Race Car man quickly got over his aversion to socks when he discovered how cold his feet got in his snow boots without them.  We ...more

Talking to My Daughter About Love -- and Race

Because her brother stayed home, A and I had a nice long ride to work together today. She's been having some trouble sleeping lately.  Talking about that led to talking about her dad and I, and that led to talking about relationships and being in love. Thinking of SG and I, I offered her some of my thoughts on what I find to be important in relationships, such as choosing someone that you really like and enjoy beyond that sensational feeling of floating you get whenever you're around them, and choosing someone who really cares about you and who is kind and sweet....more
Just like Forever 17, I raised my children to understand that race/culture should not be a ...more

Do what it takes?

The Interwebs are abuzz over Catherine Hakim's new book Erotic Capital.  Hakim, a British sociologist,  is best known for authoring books and articles centered around women in the workplace and gender equality.  A self-described feminist, Hakim has made a career of attempting to understand and iterate the social, political and economic impact woman have in the workplace and how pressures of conformity and patriarchal valu ...more

Yelling is abuse. Period.

She was never hit, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. Having someone screaming at the top of their lungs as they slam things, punch holes in walls, kick inanimate objects, stalk around in angry circles -- and having this happen on a daily basis, many times more than once in a day, is frightening. And, as she finally realized, it is abuse. ...more
As an adult who grew up in a home much like you describe, you no doubt made a choice that your ...more

Making Sense of Suicide

Today I took a shortcut to work, up a gravel road through the hills.  At the tip-top of the hill, where you can see miles and miles of farms and houses and hills and rivers, cars on the highway and cows grazing in the pasture, at the place where sometimes lovers park at night and where hikers climb during the day and where hawks carry off small rodents and snakes burrow and coyotoes and foxes move about in pursuit of their daily business, at this place I found something terrible....more
This is a wonderful post. I know it was written a while ago but I just found it and I am glad ...more

Mixed Bag

Posted originally on 5/2/11 at www.barnmaven.comYou can't listen to the radio or turn on the TV or look at Twitter or Facebook and not be aware of what happened in Pakistan yesterday.  Few people aren't talking about the death of Bin Laden, and the range of response is...what's the word I'm looking for?  Fascinating?  Curious?  Expected?  I don't know.  I don't know how I feel today....more


Originally posted at Its so easy when things are good to think "they'll always be this way." When they're bad, sometimes we think the same, though the more optimistic among us may think "it will get better." All I know is, enjoy where you are because somewhere along the line, something will change the equation. I've probably said this same thing in about twenty different ways on this blog. Its one of those essential truths that I keep turning around to find myself facing. Change. Fluidity. Nothing stays the same. ...more

Reach out and touch someone

I was thinking the other day, as I was feeling sort of lonely in a faraway hotel room, how in CODA recovery (and just about any other healthy self/relationship book or program you can find out there right now) there is consistent teaching that we don't have to cling to others, we can allow others to be here or not be here, we can let go, and that's the healthiest thing.  And I get that.  I honestly get it, really really I do. ...more