LIVING WITH MR PROBABLY WRONG

So I was married for 23 years and then I wasn't.  Now I'm living with the guy who is looking more and more like Mr. Wrong. I'm obviously not very experienced at this so how do I know when hard is just too hard and when to just say enough. Every day seems to bring me closer and closer to giving up but I always feel like I made this choice and I should weather through the storms until I'm really sure. Any second timer's out there have any advice?  I could sure use it so join me as I try to make up my mind. ...more
That you have conflicts doesn't mean the relationship is over.  HOW you address those conflicts ... more

Judgment: Maybe It's Not So Bad

We all like to think we're better than those people who judge others.Sometimes, the judging is right out in the open. It takes the form of celebrity gossip or comments on blog posts. Sometimes it's during chit chat with friends where we rip others apart with words, tearing them to shreds about the way they dress or the choices they've made. When I lived in the south, these types of conversations always included the words, "God bless her heart, but...". In the north, we don't add that disclaimer. No one here is blunting their claws before they swipe....more
Would it be great if everyone was always nice and people got along?  Sure it would.  We don't ... more

"It's Not Fair to the Normal Kids." Are You Kidding Me, Lady?

I told her that my son has autism and she responded, "oh, my nephew is autism." Yes, she said it like that -- should have been my first clue. She continued: "They try to stick him in with the normal kids, but I just don't think it makes any sense. It's not doing ANYONE any good having him with NORMAL kids...." ...more
One of the things kids must learn to cope as adults is that life *isn't* fair.  You know, its ... more

Getting Past Internet Snarking (or, My Crooked Teeth Made a Stranger Puke)

The bizarre thing is that though we’re incredibly critical of women’s natural imperfections, we can be twice as brutal in criticizing women who go about trying to fix them. If I HAD gotten my teeth fixed and that picture was of me with perfectly white and straight teeth, I just have this feeling that I could have just as easily been criticized for looking fake (And if not that, then I’m certain it would have been something, because they also convinced themselves that a stray strand of hair from my bangs stuck to my cheek was an eyebrow down to my chin). ...more
I think you have a beautiful, genuine and warm smile. And congratulations on your upcoming ... more

Judge Me, I Dare You

There was an article here on BlogHer yesterday that has me all fired up. It’s about judging parents, and how it’s actually ok. Except it’s not. It was written by a new mom, someone whose blog I actually really like. A young mom. A mom who maybe hasn’t weathered the storms of toddler reflux, breastfeeding failure, postpartum depression, child sleep disorders, isolation from friends and family, and plain ol’ active/curious/energetic toddler temperament....more
This was just lovely to read. As the parent of a child with autism and a child with bipolar ... more

A Modern Day Hero Against Bad Parenting

Erin’s dad was at the Manhattan Beach Bagel Company -- one of his usual haunts -- spread out with his breakfast and the newspaper, poised to enjoy a lovely morning. Then the wrecking crew came in. A tattered, wits-end-looking couple and their two little terrors, trailing a veritable monster truck rally of plastic vehicles. Which they proceeded to race around, bumping into other patrons and causing a general ruckus. Meanwhile, the parents sat enjoying their breakfast in a dreamlike state of oblivion....more
Annnnnd...before anyone says "well, we weren't talking about special needs kids, just badly ... more

A Modern Day Hero Against Bad Parenting

Erin’s dad was at the Manhattan Beach Bagel Company -- one of his usual haunts -- spread out with his breakfast and the newspaper, poised to enjoy a lovely morning. Then the wrecking crew came in. A tattered, wits-end-looking couple and their two little terrors, trailing a veritable monster truck rally of plastic vehicles. Which they proceeded to race around, bumping into other patrons and causing a general ruckus. Meanwhile, the parents sat enjoying their breakfast in a dreamlike state of oblivion....more
The very first time someone calls my son, who has autism and sometimes has difficulty ... more

"Real Women Have Curves" and Other Ways You're Not Helping

Posting a picture of Sophia Loren or Christina Hendricks on your Facebook as if it were some sort of radical, daring alternative to opressive patriarchal beauty standards is foolish at best, and harmful at worst. Seeing these kinds of images doesn't make me feel good, it makes me feel like being a womanly, curvaceous Venus is the only alternative I have to being super-skinny. The reality is that I, like many women, am neither very skinny nor lush and voluptuous. I have fat on my thighs and small boobs. I am imperfect. Where do I fit into this dichotomy? ...more
I passed that picture along, but do consider this: I think all women have their own brand of ... more

What Does It Mean to Be Empowered?

Empowerment a concept that frequently comes up in discussions about sexuality. How can you tell if someone who wants to give oral sex, try anal sex, or have an open relationship is doing it because it's what they genuinely desire? In a world in which our likes and dislikes are shaped and limited by the world around us, how do we know whether our choices are empowered or not? ...more
This is an excellent exposition on what it means to be true to yourself - not just in sex, but ... more

Co-parenting: Does Your Ex Need to Know if You're Dating?

Coparenting is not easy. In this post, Mandy at Since My Divorce discusses a few pointers that are worth hashing out with the ex to avoid conflict once you start dating again later on. ...more
I did tell him when I was dating. He made a big deal out of knowing when I was going to ... more