6 Steps to Vaporize Your Negative Beliefs and Heal Your Self Criticism

“I was born perfect. The rest is just beliefs that I picked up…I don’t believe them anymore. I choose to believe that I am perfect and whole.” – Caron Goode Ever wondered why some parents can keep a sense of humor in the face of their child's challenging behavior while another parent starts yelling?...more

The Secret of Raising a Self-Disciplined Child

"Together with intelligence, self-control turns out to be the best predictor of a successful and satisfying life." - Steven Pinker "You frequently mention "setting limits" and I am wondering if you can elaborate. I feel like I am not good at setting limits and my children probably feel like I am unpredictable with what I allow and what sets me off." -- Aurora What does self-control have to do with setting limits? ...more

How Can You Set Limits If You Don't Use Threats to Enforce Them?

"I'm struggling with how to enforce limits without a consequence. For example, brushing teeth -- she'll refuse. It's not reasonable for me to do it by force, so I tell her if she can't brush her teeth, I can't read a bedtime story to her ....more

6 Steps To Help Kids Learn to Control Their Emotions

"I love your posts, but my husband is afraid that if we allow our kids to get upset as you suggest, they'll never learn to control their emotions. Don't we need to just say No sometimes?" - Rachel All of us worry about our kids learning to control their emotions. After all, it's emotions that so often get us off track and into trouble....more

Tougher Than Lion Taming: When Your Child Hits Your Other Child

“So just to clarify: 3-year-old girl kicks 1-year-old, there's a blood-curdling scream, and I am to hold my 3-year-old (after making sure the crying 1-year-old is fine, got that) and just sit with her until she feels better? No time-out, just hold her and tell her that I love her and that I know she is hurting too....So, no discipline, just love, i.e. more attention.... more attention for kicking the baby?!" Punishing children when they hit is counter-productive, because it leaves them even more frightened and resentful, and all those feelings will burst out in more aggression toward their sibling ....more

When Your Toddler Hits You

"An angry child is one who is quite frightened and sad underneath her tough stance. However small the issue, she feels that something absolutely vital to her is being threatened, and she has no choice but to fight. She also feels alone ....more

How Can You Learn to Behave, If You're Never Punished?

“Dr. Laura....I just don't get it. How can kids learn to behave if they're never punished? ...more

Roughhousing: Tears aren't the end of the world

"You always recommend roughhousing, and my kids do love it, but what do I do when they jump all over and get too wild?...more

What Your Child Wishes You Knew When She Acts Out

"Hey, Mom, Dad, I'm overwhelmed with some big feelings here....I don't know what to do with them...They're bubbling up inside me and I feel so scared and sad and mad...I'll do anything to make these feelings go away, including hit someone...No, don't you come close offering me hugs...that would send me right into tears...I can't bear all that sadness...It must be your fault I'm feeling all these bad feelings....I'll drive you away by any means necessary!" Don't you wish your child could just TELL you she's feeling this way, instead of screaming "I hate you, you're the worst mother in the world!"? But when your child is acting out, it's because she CAN'T tell you about those feelings. So she "acts them out."...more

Life Out of Balance? Put Yourself Back on the List

“I know one thing for sure. It is impossible to find one’s own balance from the outside in. I now know beyond a doubt that finding—and maintaining—our balance is an inside job.” – Lu Hanessian When you're at home with your family, you have a running list....more