Heartfelt Sleeping

Don't you hate when people want to tell you about their dreams? ZZZZZZ...Yet, you nod (off), play interested, and give some sort of polite backchannel response like, "Wow; that's crazy!" (even though you tuned out about 15 minutes ago)....more

More Funny-Ass Sh*t my Son Said!

 Here's some more hilare-balls shit my son said:1. "I promise you can finish doing the lawn yourself. Daddy and me are talking in the truck about the skunk."...more

Why Crying Is Good

I cried for the first time in a very long time. It actually felt good. I can't remember the last time I cried like that. And it's not important what it was about--just that I cried, because I felt like the old me. See, I used to cry, like, every day...no joke. I mean, I thought it was downright disconcerting when people would tell me that they didn't cry. "Huh?" I'd say in disbelief, thinking that of course they were overmedicated or out of touch with themselves or harboring some deep-seeded anger and resentment....more

Screw Boundaries; They're for Suckers!

I have a boundaries issue. The issue is: I don't have any.Well, that's not completely true, but sort of true...and it's exaccerbated if it's nighttime and I've had a few drinks. I turn into that Gremlin that you can't feed after midnight or let him jump in the pool. Remember the Gremlin Gizmo? Well, my husband has a nickname for me after I've had a Cosmo: "Mozmo." I tend to sort of shit stir, get the pot rolling, pick at a scab, throw salt in the wound...you name it....more

Octobabies and Kittens!

So I've been thinking about getting a kitten--or having another baby (Stop! Don't yell at me!). But, I think a baby would be a bad call since I'm already, like, in full weeds mode and kinda postal by 4 p.m every day. (Also, I'm past the "advanced maternal age" definition, and as my friend said, "Am I okay having a kid with three arms?" Eight might be cool...Octobaby!)...more

"Me Bad Parent:" The Do's and Don't of Parenting

I was online searching for images of parenting, and I came across these old-school photos of baby care "do's" and "don'ts." I think they are super-helpful and should definitely be left on bedside tables in maternity wards for new moms and dads who are clueless. I mean, I almost washed my baby with a power hose, but if I had seen this, I would have known better:...more

Things that Really Bummed Me Out

1. McDonald's Shakes...more

Funny Sh*t My Son Said: An Excerpt for Bartlett's Book of Quotations

Here are some funny things my son said today:...more