Casket Shopping

That was an experience I could do without.I went casket shopping.Now... I have come to learn that I am a comfort shopper.  I have never liked to shop but I have learned it is an excellent distraction.  Thankfully most of my consumer urges are directed towards Frenchy's (an outstanding used clothing outlet) so it is easier on the bank account.  That said......more

Saying Goodbye...

I said goodbye to my mother tonight.She's not there......more

Waiting for Death

I feel like a ghoul.I'm waiting for death.  Not with dread but with a sense of anticipation... of needing relief.The last month has been one of the most physically and emotionally exhausting of my life.My heart stops when the phone rings.  Then, when it isn't news of my mother's death, I feel relief and then disappointment.I want my mother to die........more

All is Not as it should be

"All is as it should be."These are supposed to be words of comfort and while they are well meant and I thank people for their concern... I have trouble seeing this whole experience is 'as it should be.'How should it be that my seven year old niece had to say goodbye to her Grandmother yesterday?  How should it be that my children miss their mother while I wait for death to take the woman the nurtured me? How should it be that less than five years after cancer took my father, it has come for my mother?...more

Waiting in Silence

How is it the world seems to keep on turning when for one person it stands still?It seems so strange to hear about snow days and sledding parties when my world is limited to this house and the slow creep of death.  Outside the snow has fallen and the world seems fresh and new.  Inside the air sits still and heavy.We wait for the good moments......more

Finding Gratitude in Unlikely Places...

I haven't been posting much lately... something my regular readers have obviously figured out.I haven't found much inspiration. Read more here....

Wednesday is for Writing: Nature

I watch my son's tears pour down his cheeks. He holds up a sore finger, the result of a clandestine foray into the bathroom drawer.As I kiss the offending finger better, I marvel at this elemental nature of a child. This nature of trust in the world and, in particular, in me that all will be better.The Little Dide looks at his finger. The kiss didn't work. He holds it up again. I kiss it better... again. We go through this routine 15 times before he decides Mommy has worked her magic....more

Giving up Cancer for Lent: Easter Bunny Mea Culpa

The Easter Bunny is getting into the act now. He grudgingly admits he has not set the best example for healthy living by giving baskets of chocolate and sweets full of high fructose corn syrup. He admits the quantities are getting a bit ridiculous as well, I mean what kid needs a chocolate bunny bigger than their teddy bear? The big bunny means well but, frankly, too often he falls far short of the mark....more

Giving Up Cancer for Lent: Week Two

This is the week I have been dreading: week two of my Lenten experiment.As I believe I have mentioned, cancer is a plague on society....more

Cancer Free Groceries - Part One

So... I went to the grocery store on a mission. If you disregard the fact that I left with a large container of ice cream (on sale, half price!), I did pretty well and I learned a few lessons.One of the tricks, I'm learning, is to limit shopping as much as possible to the exterior edges of the store....more