Day 18 to 37

Irony = my husband INSISTING he needs to get his heat fixed in his car yesterday and spending nearly $600 for the work only to have him total the car in an accident TODAY! I often feel like the universe is out to get me.  It’s a pessimistic notion I know.  I’m like that SNL Debbie Downer character when I get into one of the funks.  I literally think I can hear a wah, waahhh after every thought or comment during these times....more

19 Days to 37

Last Christmas I spent the day like I normally do, with my husband’s family.  After discovering all the goodies that Santa left us and eating breakfast together we dressed the kids in their holiday best and headed over to Great Grandma’s house.  My father in law was in a somber mood.  As we stood alone in a corner of the basement eating some snacks, he told me how he was afraid that the cancer had spread.  He was feeling tired again and having trouble breathing.  Overcome with emotion, he said that this was his last Christmas.  In my attempt to lighten the mood...more

Day 27 to 37

I’m back!  It feels like forever.  Life has gotten the better of me these past weeks.  Somewhere between my daughter’s Halloween bag, my mother’s visit, and the table at my daughter’s elementary school International night, I found myself questioning my journey to 37.  Writing this blog is peaceful to me.  It isn’t meant to divulge my deepest, darkest secrets (and yes I do have those).  So I am surprised by the reactions of people that tell me that I am so brave or imply I am sharing too much.  I am only sharing what I would share with someone if asked.&nbs...more

Days 38 & 37 to 37

My husband is cheating on me.   Well to be honest he was in that relationship before we even met, but I had hoped that some of its mystique and appeal would have ended by now.  Late night phone calls, texts at all hours, weeks away from our family.  I call that bitch the Army.  I know; I know…I have heard it time and again from outsiders.  They say “You knew what you were getting into when married him.”  Now I am going to say aloud what I have always said in my head.  How can you know what you are getting into when life is evolving?  It was impos...more
I am enjoying reading your blog and getting to know you better. I love to read blogs - mostly ...more

Day 39 to 37

I want to thank all my friends and family that have been reading these daily blogs.  They are so much fun to write, and I enjoy allowing you all to get to know me better.  The other day I blogged about surviving, and I referenced some of the things that we as individuals, as women, endure.  After listing some of these moments, I realized that I haven’t allowed myself to heal from the pain that some of these have caused me.  I feel like this blog is allowing me to bring closure to them.  We all remember him/her, that bully that for years tormented us for no r...more

Day 40 to 37

Do you know that relationship that you had that ended and at some point afterwards you began to remember that relationship and that person as wonderful, everything you wanted even?  We have all had one of those.  Somehow your mind plays this awful trick on you.  You only remember the good and not the bad, like you remember how on that first Valentine’s Day together he surprised you with flowers and a teddy bear placed next to your bed while you slept, but you forgot about how on your 22nd birthday, he left you standing in the rain waiting hours for him to show up m...more

Day 41 to 37

I am sorry I have kept you all waiting for the Day 41 update.  Yesterday was one of those days that you look back on and wonder “What just happened?”  After a full day of work I had to pick up Abby from religious education, drop 5 bags off to Goodwill, stopped by Whole Foods to pick something up for dinner, cooked dinner, sat down for dinner with my family, helped with Ethan’s bath and Abby’s shower, did three loads of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, loaded the dishwasher, put away all the clothes I folded, and started making Ethan’s lunch.  All of that took place in a span...more

Day 42 to 37

When I was younger I had a reoccurring dream in which I would arrive at school and when I looked down I discovered that I was naked.  I realized that I was standing there without any clothes on before my classmates could notice so I would run and hide in the bushes outside the main doors of the school.  I would crouch and wait for them to go away so they couldn’t see me.  I couldn’t allow them to see me so vulnerable.  So I ask myself, why do I stand here in front of you naked, vulnerable, allowing you to see me without my clothes? I believe many of you can relat...more
My wish and prayer for you is you will see the Isabella we all see and love. You are on an ...more

Day 43 to 37 - Again

Last night I typed up my Day 43 update and the whole thing disappeared prior to saving.  It was heartbreaking to see my work evaporate before my eyes, and now I must admit that my energy and commitment to repeating those words is lacking.  So please forgive me if this post is less than what it would have been. My name is Isabella and I am an avoider.  Are you an avoider too?  Do you find every excuse to turn down an invitation from a group of women you know but don't know that well?  What about the friend that invites you to work out?   Do you give...more
Sometimes it's easy to avoid behind our busy schedules. I'm guilty of it! I think it is about ...more

Day 43 to 37

After typing this post for the past 40 minutes and previewing it, I hit the edit button. I was hoping to correct a few spelling/grammatical error before posting. Well the whole thing disappeared.  My longest post yet, and it completely was erased.  So heartbroken and exhausted I must go to bed, but I promise to re-enter Day 43 again tomorrow when I am feeling more committed to reliving and retelling my experience.  Until then good night and sleep tight!...more