Still Kickin

Almost 2 months! I've been kickboxin for almost 2 months, I've lost 19 pounds, and I feel hopeful that this will continue. One thing I can say about kickboxing is, it's intense. My body hurts on a daily basis, but without that pain I wouldn't have a mental check-in everytime I move, and for now, I need that. Of course, I've had a few set backs, everyone does, but for the most part I think I've been doing great. I constantly have to remind myself that this is a lifestyle, not a diet, because the difference for me is  huge!...more

Almost a week in

It been almost a week since I joined Kickboxing, almost a week since I last binged, almost a week since I last felt bad about myself! That is huge!! Who knew walking through the doors of an extremely intimidating place with mostly "skinny minis" would make me feel good!!...more

May Have Found A Light At The End of My Tunnel

and its KICKBOXING!! I think I love it! I can't stop thinking about it, and can't wait to go back to another class!! Sure, my body is KILLING me, but it's in that oh so good way that I love after an intense workout that has made me use muscles I never normally use. My sister has been kickboxing in self-defense style at Tiger Schulmann's for over a year, and she's lost 70 pounds, she looks freaking amaxing, but what's more is she has energy to play, run, jump, and just have fun with her son....more
Yay You!  That's exactly right -- who cares what you think you moight look like to others (who ...more

Monday, Again

Here we go, its another Monday, and I am "starting" again. Where, when and how does this cycle end? I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, wanting to get things done, and begin my road to healthy again, so what happens? I looked at my cell phone, shouldn't have done that, but I did! Sometimes no news is good news. A person that thinks they are helping by giving me blow by blow information regarding the substitute positions in the school I work in, gave me some news that made me angry, because 1. I can't do anything about it, 2. I feel like I am being misled, 3....more

My reality is...

My reality is that I am trying to change, I realize that change takes time, but it also takes the act of actually doing something differently than before. I've been trying to get to the root of my issues with food, there are so many things that keep coming up; abuse suffered at the hands of neighbor (did that start the compulsion to isolate myself?) Being a step-child that always felt like I wasn't really part of the family (did that isolation I felt lead to me looking for other ways to "fill the void"?) Losing my father when I was 5, and never ...more
Yayyyy!  I smiled out loud!  And here's to another day like yesterday!more

My reality is. . .

My reality is I get so angry sometimes I want to punch holes in walls, but I don't. My reality is my feelings get so hurt sometimes it feels like my heart if breaking and I just can't go on, but I don't tell anyone. My reality is I get so frustrated sometimes I don't want to deal with the world, but I don't allow myself "me" time. Or I just don't get that time because I have a husband that works 16 hours a day sometimes, and a daughter that requires just about as much attention throughtout the day as my husband is away....more
Its always nice when someone understands!! Thanks!!!more

My reality is...

My reality is that I am well over 100 pounds overweight. My reality is I am not happy with my current situation being overweight. My reality is that I take these feelings out on myself through compulsively eating, and bargaining with myself that "at least my husband loves me, and my daughter loves me too"....more
Starting is hard isn't it.  Not starting for a day or a few days, but really starting.  It ...more