DO NOT OPEN UNLESS ELECTROCUTED

After publishing the “Teen Solution” blog about putting teenagers in medically induced comas and teaching them everything they needed to know through strategically placed electrodes to their brain, I was talking with a couple friends about co-founding the “Teen Solution Foundation” (TSF).  We would revolutionize the world!  The more we explored the possibilities, the more we realized that if we turned this dream into a reality, the world would memorialize us in song, erect statues of us, and write our names in every history book.  We’d be revolutionaries forever changing so...more

I Have A Dream...The Teenage Solution

When the kids were little I used to point at teenagers and whisper in their ears, “There’s a teenager…aliens inject something in their brains, turning it to liquid, making them act crazy until their brains resolidify in their early to mid 20s.”  I used to think it was hilarious to watch the children look at the teenager wide eyed with a sort of curious trepidation.  One day, while at a community event, my son (at about 4 years old) grabs my arm, points wildly and exclaims for everyone around us to hear, “Look mom!  It’s a teenager!”  The crowd looked at us quizzically,...more

Size Matters

I have heard phrases like "size doesn't matter", "quality not quantity", "it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean", etc., etc.  However...I'm here to tell you, size matters!  In all things, size matters.  If you're hungry, do you want a little Crystal burger, or do you want a Whopper?  If it's cold, do you want a thin jacket or a thick down jacket?  Same goes for body types.  I am 5'7".  Not a small woman.  My normal weight (yes, guys, I'm actually going to tell it) is between 145 and 150.  When I...more

If You Have An Erection Lasting More Than 4 Hours

There are so many products on the market for erectile dysfunction and male enhancement.  Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra seem to be the leaders in helping the man with a not so stiff stiffy, feel like a steel rod again.  Then you've got the medications geared toward helping the man with a micropenis hear something other than, "is it in yet?"    For male enhancement, the top 5 choices, as reported and reviewed on www.howtoenhance.com are 1) SizePro, 2) VigRx Plus, 3) ProSo...more

The Penis Epiphany

Yesterday, while watching one of Allstate's amazing and super funny mayhem commercials, I had an epiphany: penises are ugly. I mean, really, when's the last time you saw a bumper sticker or t-shirt that said "penises make me smile," or saw a commercial with a woman looking at a man's penis like just the very sight of it is making her wild with desire? You haven't, because penises are ugly. ...more
Women are sex objects. Men are success objects. Mothers care more about their daughter's ...more