Sometimes It's Good That Old Boyfriends Fade Away

elizabeth: When the East Village was my home, I lived with a boyfriend who was so handsome and sultry eyed sexy. Man, I just liked looking at him. And I know he liked looking at himself also. If I was him, I would have been doing the same damn thing. We lived on St. Mark’s Place and whenever we walked to the West Village men’s eyes would be undressing and bedding him down. That cracked me up something fierce. Because it could be -37 degrees and he would be breaking out in a sweat because the young (and old) gay men thought he was hot.  I had very good taste....more

Looking For Signs That Are Sealed And Delivered

elizabeth: I was dreaming about overindulging in Halloween candy when the phone rang. I don’t like getting calls after 10 PM because of that old wives’ tale that bad news only comes at night.  Yeah, right. A soft gentlemen’s voice on the other end informed me that he had a dream about my phone number and had to call. Not a great pick-up line, but I really wasn’t thinking he was going there. He said it again and I told him that he woke me up. It was late. Yes, he said it is 5 AM in Tibet. 5 AM in the Tibet?...more

Of Course You'll Love This Blog

Laurie:  I just yelled at my best friend who had open-heart surgery five days ago.  What on earth is wrong with me?    ...more

The Cover of O Magazine # 1

elizabeth: So we have not lost our minds (you can’t lose what you don’t have), but on Monday I saw Ellen Degeneres on Oprah and she got herself on the cover of O.  And Ellen is blond, very funny and married to the very beautiful Portia De Rossi. I am blond, people say I make them chuckle and my wife has a beard and goes by the name of Walter. Okay he’s not really my wife, but I think Ellen and my life have so many parallels that if Oprah let Ellen be on the cover of O, then why not us?...more

Time Isn't Always On Our Side

Laurie:  Last Sunday we turned back our clocks one hour.  After a night of over-indulgence on Halloween candy and scary costumes, the extra hour of sleep was greatly welcomed.  We awoke to daylight and spent the rest of the day adjusting clocks, telephones, and electronic equipment to reflect the end of Daylight Savings Time.  Another annual tradition was successfully completed.  ...more

A Magic Carpet Ride to Saturn

Laurie:  I won’t even tell you how I ended up there but I spent a Friday night at a Whole Energy Festival in a Manhattan hotel.  Folks who had just dined on raw food, channeled the directions to the hotel, and chanted on the subway showed up in flocks.  Some of the booths I encountered included an 87-year-old man who wanted to heal my back with an ice cube.  He also wanted me to buy his $25 self-published book that showed me how to do it myself by way of stick figure diagrams.  A lovely Indian lady accosted me with a cracker and some almond butter that her husband...more

Bidding a Fond Farewell to Favorite Things

Laurie: Another couple of teeth fell out of my rattail comb today.  Remember rattail combs?  In the era of teased hair, we used them to poof our hair to impossible heights.  I’m still amazed that my hair fit into my senior picture.  I have a very short neck, but the hair in all its glory was still intact.  Anyway about ten years ago I purchased what quickly became the perfect rattail comb and have been looking for a duplicate ever since.  It turns out that this particular comb is the sublime finishing touch to my daily hairstyle.  Sure, you can still get...more

If Shopping is Wrong, We Don't Wanna Be Right

Laurie:  Why oh why can’t I turn down a bargain?  My mentality is exactly what advertisers speak to, and it works every time.  My closets are full of enough “only-$10!” items to pay my full rent for a month.  And in New York City, that is no small feat.  ...more

Lamenting and Limping

Laurie:  My back has been out (not as in “out on the town,” more like “out of commission” except for when my vertebrae decide to crush the nerve endings; then there is some hellified commission going on) for almost a week.  I’ve tried drugs, back braces, cold, heat, inactivity, ridiculous pain-riveting activity, visualization and just plain ignoring it.  Nothing seems to be working.  The upside is that for months my hip had been bothering me.  It seems the pain in my back has totally wiped out that.  I’ve traded up.  And what’s even worse –...more

Coaches on the Edge Present the Hair Apparent

elizabeth: Laurie and I went to see the revival of “Hair” this past Sunday in Manhattan. I remember reading about this tribal love-rock musical in 1967 and wishing I was older so I could go see it. But my parents had the local nunnery on their speed dial (my parents knew the Jetsons – look it up) and I was too cowardly back then to attempt incurring my parents wrath. Plus I would have been force-fed Frank Sinatra records and that could have scarred me for life.  So finally this past Sunday I was able to let the sun shine in on a young girl’s wish.  ...more