Lyrics I Wish My Kids Had Never Learned

Yesterday, my 2-year-old told me that she wanted to sing “Pumped Up Kicks” at Overbrook – Overbrook being the preschool she will soon attend four hours a week....more

Once In a Blue Moon

Every so often – maybe once in a blue moon – I do something for my husband. If you check the calendar, you’ll find that it actually was a blue moon on Aug. 31, when I accompanied Jeff to the Temple-Villanova football game at Lincoln Financial Field. It must have been. Otherwise, I never would have been there. I hate football. Even during college at the University of Washington, I barely saw the Huskies play. I usually visited the library during games....more

A Half Croc'd Saturday Night

Saturday night confirmed, yet again, that dining out with kids is usually better as a concept than a reality. Before we left the house, I asked my husband to oversee the gathering of shoes and sweatshirts. I think he forgot the checklist, because, after a clumsy parallel parking of the minivan in Manayunk, we discovered that our 2-year-old was wearing one Croc, not two. Covering her naked foot, we slipped her into a high chair and our twin 5-year-olds into a booth....more

Prison Break

To say that I was nonplussed to read “Montgomery County Prison Work Release Unit” on the side of a van pulling onto my path during a recent trail run might be an understatement. ‘Here I am, trying to enjoy my own work release – a release from my kids,’ I thought....more

Livin' the Dream

I knew my husband and I were in questionable hands when we pulled into the historic Pennsylvania town between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh and read "JESUS IS LORD" in block letters in the windows of an abandoned building. I was hoping that the resort I'd booked two months ago and neglected to confirm still had our reservation. Then I saw we had backups: We could always stay at the Relax Inn and eat our meals at Hoss's....more

Bananagram

I’m delighted to report that my 5-year-old son delivered a bananagram last night at dinner.  One must understand that my son's sophisticated palate and particular needs require him to consume a separate dish from the rest of us most mealtimes....more

My Love Affair

I’m having a love affair – with Trader Joe’s. We have a secret rendezvous at least twice a week. Well, not that secret since I usually have to bring my toddler and sometimes my 5-year-old twins, too. But my children are supportive. They love Trader Joe’s as much as I do....more

Play Misty For Me

My kids got misty-eyed when I told them that – since we were not Jewish – we would spend part of the Yom Kippur holiday from school getting flu shots. Thus ensued several conversations with my 5-year-old daughter about inoculations, her idea of cruel and unusual punishment. “Will it be just one shot?” she kept asking....more

Forms of Distress

As far as bedtimes go, it has been a fairly entertaining evening. I had the privilege of reading the following tid bit to my 5-year-olds from Beatrix Potter's "The Tale of Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle": "They're little dicky shirt-fronts belonging to Tom Tit-mouse..."...more

Bare. Naked. Ladies.

At one point in my former newspaper career, I had to pull the “graveyard shift”: Saturday obit duty. This entailed not only writing about dead people, but also answering general calls to the newsroom....more