I Feel Sorry For My Son's Teacher

Anyway, I’m not sure his Kindergarten teacher will appreciate all the time he has spent learning to write words like “butt,” “poop,” “pee,” and “fart.” She might even ask me why on earth I taught him how to spell those words. And though what I’ll be thinking is, “Hey, it kept him quiet for a few minutes,” what I’ll say is something like, “Well, I wanted to encourage his emergent literacy skills while also reinf...more

The Truth About Wine Labels

So today I was reading the label on my wine bottle, which is not something I usually do because, let’s be honest, I couldn’t tell the difference between “oaky” and “elmy” (is that a thing?). I am no wine connoisseur—I mostly choose my wines based on their price and label. Trader Joe’s is great for choosing wine. There are maybe 8,000 different kinds of wine for under $10. And truth be told, I generally stick to the under-$6 vinos anyway. Why spend a bunch of money when I wouldn’t even know the difference? ...more
@icescreammama Oh, I've paired wine and cookie dough many times. A delightful combination, if I ...more

Channeling My Inner Bono

I have always believed that if life were fair, your talent at something would match your enthusiasm for it. If you loved to knit, you’d be able to make gorgeous sweaters that fit perfectly. If you loved to play tennis, you’d serve aces every time. For me, it’s singing. I LOVE to sing. I sing in the car, I sing around the house, I sing to my boys. But I’m really not that good at it. At times, in fact, I’m pretty bad. And that’s not fair....more

How to Look Like A Chicken on Ecstasy

So recently I tried Zumba. I’ve been thinking about trying it for a while, and for the past few weeks I’ve been lurking outside the class, sizing up the dance moves and the participants. I was a bit worried that I would be the least coordinated, most jiggly person there. See, I live in a city that is known for its Beautiful Women—here in Southern California it seems that somehow everyone is 22, tanned, and gorgeous. Except me. And, as it turns out, most of the participants in my YMCA’s Zumba class! Hooray for sassy old ladies and one middle-aged bald man! ...more

How I Found Out My Four-Year-Old Son is Sexist

According to the all-knowing Internet, the average 4-year-old asks about 400 questions a day. I’d say that’s a lowball number. Or my son is an over-achiever. Matthew asks questions all the time, all day long. One minute he’s sitting quietly in his car seat in the back of the car, humming “Bad Moon Rising” and absentmindedly picking his nose, and the next moment he’s asking, “But, Mommy? How does the baby get IN the mommy’s tummy?” ...more
 @Miche Kat Holy cow! You managed to combine bumblebees AND tornadoes! My 4-year-old will not ...more