A year of living in pain

The thing about being in pain every day is that people expect you to get used to it. You never get used to it. It’s been exactly one year since I woke up with a pain on my right side ....more

Fighting the suicidal thougths

Editor’s Note: This post originally appeared as a column on the National Pain Report. The pain in my ribs has been particularly horrible the last few days. I’ve rarely been able to get out of bed or off the couch ....more

9 cool things I saw online

I spend so much time desperately looking for things online related to my chronic pain that I thought I would start to do regular round-up of things I’ve found. Inspired by, While the round-up was inspired by...more

What it feels like to go off hydrocodone cold turkey (for me anyway)

Yesterday — partly because of my own stupidity and partly because the only pharmacy in Byron, Il closes at 7 p.m. — I had to go off hydrocodone cold turkey. And it was hell. I ran out on Wednesday evening and I immediately went over to the pharmacy to ask them to call in a refill ....more

I’m still alive. My ribs still hurt though.

My ribs still hurt. Yesterday was awful. I was working from home and I managed to stay with my laptop until about 3:30 p.m., but then, after that, I just laid in bed and watched hours and hours of TV while I prayed for the Hydrocodone to work ....more

Why is this happening to me?

I’ve gotten into a circle of asking “why” lately. As in, “Why the hell is this happening to me?” I know. I know ....more

All your unsolicited medical advice totally cured me! (J/k)

First of all, although I don’t really feel like I should have to say this, I will say it anyway: I flat-out asked my doctor if this whole crazy pain in my right ribs was related to the fact that I eat delicious bread and he looked at me like I was insane, and said, “No.” Next, I want you to know that I actually did try going to a chiropractor. I promise. He was full of crap ....more

My amazing boyfriend surprised me with a visit yesterday!

Yesterday I was feeling really awful and laying in bed between doses of pain pills, making them stretch as long as possible because I’m getting to the end of my monthly supply and my boyfriend called, and I was in so much pain that I did something I very, very rarely do when he calls — I hit ignore. And then, because he does not give up on me that easy, he called again 30 minutes later. And because I love him, I answered ....more

The pain makes you crazy so much quicker than you think it would.

I still think about suicide all the time. Like every single day really. It’s hard ....more

How are you?

Everyone is always asking me, “How are you?” And not like in the, “How are you doing today on the glorious sunny Saturday afternoon” sort of way, but more of the, “How are you feeling because you’re always posting on Facebook that you’re in pain and stuff?” sort of way. And if they ask me in person, they always have this weird look in their eye, like they’re confused by the fact that I don’t really look sick. Well, I feel like I’m dying pretty much all the time, that’s how I’m doing ....more