2014: Unresolved

All that malarkey I spouted here about formalizing goals is a thing of the past.  I don’t think I made any resolutions for 2012, as I certainly couldn’t find reference to them in my FOUR posts in 2012.  Let’s just pretend that they morphed into 2013. 2013 Resolution Roundup...more
hahaha!  You should definitely blog more in 2014.more

Moby Gong

I went to a Tibetan Bowl Sound Bath today.  I’m sure 98% of you have no idea what I just said.  Allow me to explain.  A lady plays a bunch of metal Tibetan bowls and a couple of gongs for like an hour while you lay there and enjoy the sound “bath.”  The particular gongs at today’s session were hand-hammered in India and tuned, get this, to the frequency of the planets Nibiru and Chiron.  These “planets” are newly discovered and not widely recognized by the scientific community as being legit.  So basically, it’s a $15 nap with music and a bunch of hippies....more

I am a Soap Whore and a Mermaid Died in My Bathtub

I love soap.  I go to the store for one thing and come out with soap.  Dr. Bronner's is my favorite, if only because his labels are the manifesto of a raving lunatic.  The peppermint is worth every maniacal word.  Luckily my soap thing is not hard on the wallet like, say, a shoe fetish would be.  But it’s officially a vice.It’s an easy vice to have as no harm is being done except exacerbating my dry skin problem and perhaps depleting the earth of its essential oils. ...more

Whatever You Do, DON'T Google Camel Mating Rituals

Today at work we were talking about the dating terms “cougar” and “panther.”  Apparently, there is some discrepancy as to the formal use of panther; it can sometimes apply to men, which none of us knew until we turned to the internet experts.  Then there’s a puma, which is specifically linked to women age 30-39.  So that once you hit 40, you’re a cougar.  But only if you go for, according to Wikipedia, “significantly” younger men.  It was all very confusing and limiting and demoralizing.  I uncomfortably ended the conversation by declaring I was a camel. <...more

Chicken Little in the Big Apple

Six days in New York City chewed me up and spit me out.  I was a newbie at the famed BlogHer '12 conference where a person can feel like they are missing out even in the middle of it all.  Early on at the conference, I found myself feeling wholly insignificant.  My blog, my labor of love, my life, was being valued on the number of followers, facebook likes, and tweets.  There was one day I was so bloated  (for reasons I won’t disclose) that I had to unbutton my pants.  The irony was not lost on me ...more

Did You Get a Cat? No, That's Just My Hair on the Floor.

OMIGOD. Have I really not posted in six months? Yes. That's correct. And I'm well aware of it.  Just to keep my posse of 7ish readers interested, I've declared the following:2010: The Year I Started Wearing More Concealer2011: The Year of the Supplement2012: The Year My Hair Started Falling OutNote to self: do not Google "[extensive list of supplements] and hair loss." You will make things much, much worse. And then you will lose more hair....more

Craigslist is the New Therapy

Let’s talk about Craigslist.  If someone were watching me, they would see me shedding items from my life like body parts all over town.  It’s not just a handy service for getting rid of stuff I no longer need in my house, but it’s a great way to give an overdue emotional release a deadline. I am amazed at how attached I’ve become to “stuff.”  Don’t get the wrong idea.  I’m NOT a hoarder.  I am a total pitcher.  But what else can you do with a Graco Metrolite Travel System with two (yes, two!) car seat bases?  Owner’s manual included!...more

The Kicker

The Odyssey

Yes, I have one.  Many do.  But, I have friends who actually act surprised when I mention him.  “Oh, you have a brother?  Why do I not know this?”We aren’t that close.  We were close growing up being only two or so years apart, but drifted after leaving home and stayed that way for a small handful of silly reasons and a dash of laziness and complacency on both our parts.  Put it this way, when we were suddenly thrust into the same car to drive to Tennessee for our Aunt’s funeral, I had to Mapquest directions to his house....more

My Twelve Days of Christmas

A sour sense of consumerism and greed.A lack of work ethic when it comes to wrapping gifts.  Tissue + bag = done.OCD overdrive.A wish, a hope, a dream.Constipation.Overdressed, sweaty, sticky children.Underwhelming.A trip to Urgent Care/Walgreens Take Care Clinic for at least one of us.Waking up alone with zero presents with my name under the tree because my kids are too young to buy me stuff.Extra Xanax.Disgust over the myriad ways Santa is depicted on everyday household items.A dis...more
I'm going to comment on my own post and say that I am not fond of the formatting in the preview ...more