First Date Conversations: How To Make It Not So: "You Talking to Me?"

Soooo…what do you talk about on a first date?Well, wouldn’t it be a perfect world if they all had conversation that flowed like a chocolate fountain over cream puffs and strawberries? Hello! But we all know that, unless you hit the first date jackpot, you’re going to have to put some thought and effort into getting that verbal rapport, if it exists, started. I’m not saying you should sweat it like an Oompa Loompa at the chocolate factory; if it’s THAT hard, remember to breathe! However, while playing it by ear, a few bon mots/ clever questions up your sleeve are always a “do”....more

Self Esteem and Your Dating Life

So here I am in the present again. I just passed the first YEAR anni of being on POF and tomorrow it’s again a year to the day I met BMX so this week has been rife with sentiment and revelations and memories - all kinds of good shit. Sigh. And what’s an anniversary without a pity party, on the phone sobbing: “I'm gonna to die alone, Allison!!”? Yeah. Break out the champagne, girlies. It was THAT much fun....more

What Too Long Should Say Very Quickly to You.

So here we go, way back again to the dark days freshly post BMX when I was trying to be all egalitarian and shit and was still…wait for this…naïve enough to assume: “Well, he probably looks better in person.” as in making an ass of me, myself and I. Sigh....more

Why You Should or Shouldn't Date Out of Your Wheelhouse.

So…you’re messaging now and contemplating your first meet and greets. You’re apprehensive yet excited. You’ve got choices! Or do you? And is it quantity or quality, commonalities or differences that you should be going for?...more

Why Do I Nickname Boyz And Why Do They Like It?

Before I go any further along my own convoluted and surprising path o’ dating, I want to address this issue aka “my thing with names” so you won’t get all confused as we continue on together and everyone is called something else.The short answer to both title questions is: “I have no idea.” Sorry....more

Here's Why We Call It "The Power of the Post".

Sooo…I’m  here to report that both Nicolee and I have been affected by what she has coined: “the power of the post”. BAM!Fyi, Nicolee is my bestie in P.R. and she and my stalwart homestay student/ friend Nozomu proof my posts for clarity and continuity, education and entertainment. They are, together, my first reader. I would be lost without their wisdom and perception of my words and my intent....more

When Should You Send a Text vs. a "Sext"?

Here's a newsflash for those of us who first dated in the last century: decoding texts or emails in this digital dating age can be brutal.Make no mistake, because of online dating, you are intimately connected to your gadgets. You think it was bad way back in the day to wait at home for a call? Now you carry the damn instrument of your fate everywhere with you to maybe not get an email or text either. You have added opportunities to obsess over “did he/ didn’t he?” and “will he/ won’t he?” Sigh. An electronic maelstrom of self-doubt and dating angst. Good times....more
Adelewishnot Isn't it sooo weird to "know/ not know" someone?? It's just a whole new world o' ...more

Here's How the Rules Haven't Changed But I Have...

So you’ve gotten to your first date. Holy hallelujah girlfriend, give yourself a high five! But if you’re like me, immediately after that, you’ll be hyperventilating like a mo fo because what do you do NOW??  What do you say? How do you SAY it? Have “the rules” changed while you were out of the game? Gack!Honestly, my first few first dates were like when I brought Boo home from the hospital then his dad ran out to get something from the store. Suddenly Susan, it was just me and the baby on the couch and I was like: Tf do I do now? I wanted this and here we are and WHAT NOW?...more

What to Know If It's Your First Date This Century. Ish.

Soooo….you’ve been messaging with someone online and you kind of like him and he kind of likes you and you suddenly Susan agree to go out.  GACK! And if it’s your first “first date”/ meeting all the more reason to celebrate/ freak the fuck out!But you know what? Every journey begins with the first step so this journey begins with, most likely, the ubiquitous coffee meet and greet. Nothing wrong with that, girlies and I’ll tell you why: quick exit strategy.    ...more

After 7 Years Of Loneliness, I Still Refuse to Settle for "Mr. Wrong"

How many kinds of lonely do you think exist in the world? I’ve never actually asked myself before…it just popped up right now because I suddenly Susan wanted to address how lonely I was last year before I decided to go back online....more
writergal2014 You're so welcome!  I've settled before when I was married and I won't be doing it ...more