"Dude: You Are Not Your Fruit Plate", said the Zombie.

This is what I wanted to say to the American chef after almost five fucking hours of an interminable first date. FIVE HOURS. I wasn’t physically attracted to him or his personality. At. All....more

Love Me Don’t Leave Me Part Two – The Dating Years

In part one of Love Me Don’t Leave Me, I write about how close to the bone several of the toxic childhood schemas were for me and the general effect of issues thereof for many years. I mention my current strong, healthy  relationships – thank God - and how I got married as one person and got divorced as another when I’d salvaged enough of my true self from my primary pain. What I didn’t delve into was how, until recently, I feel “my story” was a third wheel on most of my dates. #Goodfuckingtimes....more
michelle_skeen Thank you! Reviewing LMDLM made me look at my own stuff with new eyes. It's a ...more

Love Me Don’t Leave Me – A Book Review and My “Story” Part One

So. A few months ago, suddenly Susan, I was asked if I would review a book about overcoming childhood abandonment issues to build lasting, loving relationships by Michelle Skeen, PsyD disconcertingly named: “Love Me Don’t Leave Me”. Honestly, I do understand the value of a catchy title but this one had me picturing myself blurting out those words as my first date got up to go to the washroom. Never to return. I’ve not yet had the urge but then I’ve only been online for a couple of years. ONLY....more

Make the Most of Your First Date Conversations

Soooo…what do you talk about on a first date? Well, wouldn’t it be a perfect world if they all had conversation that flowed like a chocolate fountain over cream puffs and strawberries? Hello! But we all know that, unless you hit the first date jackpot, you’re going to have to put some thought and effort into getting that verbal rapport started. I’m not saying you should sweat it like an Oompa Loompa at the chocolate factory; if it’s THAT hard, remember to breathe! However, while playing it by ear, a few bon mots/ clever questions up your sleeve are always a “do”....more

What is the Loneliness of the Long Term Dater.

Girlies, there’s just no way to say this easily so I’m just going to blurt it out: I’M STILL ONLINE.I’ll spare you the actual date I’m writing this; just be aware my blog is chronological and I’m only at the very beginning of my trials and tribulations in writing but in life did I mention I’M STILL ONLINE??...more
kateobrie900 OMG Kate, you just made my day! Your reply could be a post. Hil. Ar. Ious.  Thanks ...more

Self Esteem and Your Dating Life

So here I am in the present again. I just passed the first YEAR anni of being on POF and tomorrow it’s again a year to the day I met BMX so this week has been rife with sentiment and revelations and memories - all kinds of good shit. Sigh. And what’s an anniversary without a pity party, on the phone sobbing: “I'm gonna to die alone, Allison!!”? Yeah. Break out the champagne, girlies. It was THAT much fun....more

What Too Long Should Say Very Quickly to You.

So here we go, way back again to the dark days freshly post BMX when I was trying to be all egalitarian and shit and was still…wait for this…naïve enough to assume: “Well, he probably looks better in person.” as in making an ass of me, myself and I. Sigh....more

Why You Should or Shouldn't Date Out of Your Wheelhouse.

So…you’re messaging now and contemplating your first meet and greets. You’re apprehensive yet excited. You’ve got choices! Or do you? And is it quantity or quality, commonalities or differences that you should be going for?...more

Why Do I Nickname Boyz And Why Do They Like It?

Before I go any further along my own convoluted and surprising path o’ dating, I want to address this issue aka “my thing with names” so you won’t get all confused as we continue on together and everyone is called something else.The short answer to both title questions is: “I have no idea.” Sorry....more

Here's Why We Call It "The Power of the Post".

Sooo…I’m  here to report that both Nicolee and I have been affected by what she has coined: “the power of the post”. BAM!Fyi, Nicolee is my bestie in P.R. and she and my stalwart homestay student/ friend Nozomu proof my posts for clarity and continuity, education and entertainment. They are, together, my first reader. I would be lost without their wisdom and perception of my words and my intent....more