Best Stretch Marks, EVER.

This has to be my favorite video that Wendi Aarons and I have ever written for NickMom. For the love of all that is holy, watch, enjoy and SHARE. Because, well… stretch marks ....more

Git Out My Way. Pretty Please.

Of all the dances that human beings perform, none is more mystifying, mundane and murder-making than the “passing a stranger on the street” tango. You know how it goes. You’re walking down the road, nearing the corner, and some random fella/lass is walking towards the same corner at a perpendicular angle, and it becomes painfully obvious that you’re both going to attempt to occupy the exact same bit of concrete at the exact same time ....more

Why won’t Mrs. Ashton Kutcher poop in the back yard?

I never got around to making the birth announcement, but in case you weren’t invited to the shower, here she is! “Look into my big brown eyes. Good ....more

A Letter To My Womb

Well, hi there. Yes, it has been a while. Not to pull the “movie” card or anything, but if you recall my post about my missing tooth and borrowing a teenager’s underpants, I have been out of my mind busy writing a movie ....more

My Sweet Ride to “Listen To Your Mother”

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Chevrolet’s sponsorship of Listen to Your Mother Show, but opinions are my own....more

The Not-So-Glamorous Ways That My Life Is Like A Movie

If you are familiar with the very popular screenplay how-to book, “Save The Cat!”, you will know about the concept of “Six Things That Need Fixing”. For a screenwriter, these are the flaws or quirks you would write into the main character that subtly show themselves in the first act of a movie. Obviously, this makes the protagonist relatable, often provides some humor, and gives him/her somewhere to go, something to grow in during the course of the film ....more

Oops, I did it again (with apologies to B. Spears)

Do you see this? You know what it is, right? That’s right ....more

All Hail My Erma Bom-Bust

Well, it’s that time again, folks! The time when I publish my non-winning Erma Bombeck essay and congratulate all the winners. Enjoy this and if you have time, hop over to my friend Ann’s hilarious also-non-winning essay on Ann’s Rants ....more

Worst Date Ever. Swear.

This tragic tale is part of the “Worst Date Ever” blog hop, started by the widely-dated Nancy Kho of Midlife Mixtape. See below to hop around and read other tales of woe. And here’s to marriage, btw ....more

My spice cabinet is judging me.

“I’ll take ‘Random Unmarked Bags’ for $500, Alex.” I found this in my spice cabinet yesterday. I thought it was bread crumbs. I needed bread crumbs and so I decided that these were bread crumbs ....more