Holding on a Thread

 6 1/2 wks /34wks gestational  age.... Holding on a thread... harder & harder each night to leave the NICU.  Holding my breathe each time I call for another update. She's fine they say.. but all I can think is not until she is home. Then I think will she be OK at home.  6 1/2 wks how my life has changed. How my husband's life has changed. How our other children's lifes as changed. ...more

If I Could

If I could I'd put on my sneakers and run... But being I had to have an ememercy C-Section that will have to wait a while and I'll just have to  find another way to let out my emotions. If I could I'd scream at the top of my lungs and say this is just too much am I really suppose to be this strong?.. but I pause and pray and ask for the strength to endure this road put in front. ...more

Remembering this Hard Road is Worth It.

I remember hearing my husband say OK let's have one more baby. I remember thinking he HAS to be joking he has to right? Then I thought no he knows that is something I really have been wanting and praying althought we have 3 amazing and wonderful children I thought why not one more. Maybe I was nuts I thought but to hear those words was one of my happiest moments. In the back of my mind for a few times I thought well I'm 37 am I tempting fate am I too old. AGAIN I know there are woman having babies way older then that but I couldn't help to have those fears in my head....more

Test

Monday Morning

Monday Morning. Kids have all gone to school.I'm left sitting at the corner of the couch. Feeling the chills of the breeze that comes through the slightly open window.No noise but the sound of my keyboard as I search,type and see what has happened since my last check in.Monday Morning. Start of a new week. So many things that need to be done but nothing has even started. Not even my Coffee. Maybe the Caffeine will help wake me up....more

38 Things I Want To Do or Accomplish before I'm 38

In less then two months I shall be turning 37. First question is how did that happen so quickly. I could remember the days when I would think wow 35 imagine when I am THAT old. Well 35 has long gone by and 36 is about to end. Here I sit as all three of my children are all in school this year. With the oldest starting High School and my youngest in Kindergarten. All three have new adventures,growth and learning ahead of them. ...more

I Want To Remember

 This is my way of documenting my little girl's 1st day of Kindergarten. ...more

Plant the seed and it will grow

Nurture, give love and they will grow or at least that is what we hope for our children. Watching from a far I try to take in each moment. Their learning and imagination is much more  grand then I remember having at their age or at least it feels like that at times. ...more

Confession.. I'm Scared

Next week I will have no children at home during the day. Some might say how exciting you get to be home alone and get more done.Time to focus on trying to make more connections for your business. Get things in order.What if I said I don't want that. I am going to miss my children. I am going to miss my time with my little girl.  What if I am going to miss having someone going on errands with me. There will be no conversations of playtime in the background during the day....more